Stab Magazine | John John Florence Is A Ticking Time Bomb

Live Now — Episode 3 Of Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico

636 Views

John John Florence Is A Ticking Time Bomb

And Pipeline’s his opportunity to explode!

style // Dec 4, 2017
Words by Stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

Pipe Masters is just days away – and likely, you’re just as fucking excited as we are. The finale of the season and crowning of our champ has come down to a very critical point in 2017. John John Florence vs Gabriel Medina, with Jordy Smith and Julian Wilson in with a slight chance. The Ain’t That Swell hosts have tackled the big issues in the latest Ep and Vaughan (basically) admits to having surfed in Wonka’s pool.

The hosts made a few things clear: The surfing world deserves an all time performance from John. Going in with the yellow jersey, winning pipe and the title on home soil would be an extravagant wrap-up. Jordy Smith’s had an underwhelming performance in Portugal and they wanted more. Gabriel Medina has hairless nipples. And Nazaré, is deadly. This is a really sexualised and tongue-in-cheek episode from our moustache donning duo.

Hit that triangle below for some recommended Monday listening.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Correction: J-Bay All Foreplay, No Climax

Slim pickings on Day 1 of the Corona Cero Open J-Bay 2025.

Jul 11, 2025

What Do Hollywood, Surf Lessons, Michael Jackson And Traction Pads Have In Common?

A Stab Interview with Teva Dexter, the man behind surfing's hardest new hardware brand —…

Jul 10, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 3

"The tribe has spoken," Dane Reynolds pronounced, and a surfer's torch was snuffed.

Jul 10, 2025

How Josh Ku Nearly Died Trying To Cross From Ulus to G Land by Hydrofoil

“If someone finds me dead at least they can find my phone and know what…

Jul 10, 2025

Expect No Kiss, All Climax At The “World’s Most Perfect Pointbreak”

A Corona Cero Open J-Bay 2025 preview.

Jul 9, 2025

SEOTY: Liam O’Brien stars in ‘Friction of Perception’

"Hopefully I don’t come across like too much of a peanut."

Jul 8, 2025

10 Shapers To Watch In The Next 10 Years — Part One

“It’s like a drug empire, man. Cut the head off the snakes, and more will…

Jul 7, 2025

Mason Ho Joins Ritual Vision, Releases Remix Of Greatest Hits

Dion Agius riffs on the eyewear brand’s U.S. expansion, Ritualistic Tendencies, and the new stars…

Jul 7, 2025

Is It Time For A New Judging Format?

We have a modest proposal — a WSL head judge disagrees.

Jul 7, 2025

Luke Thompson Turns Last Year’s Priority Disaster Into Ballito Gold

+ earns himself a wildcard into Jbay.

Jul 7, 2025

Fiji Has Its First Professional Surfer, And He’s Unbelievable

16-year-old James Kusitino’s incomprehensible tube lounging leads to a deal with Former.

Jul 6, 2025

Laird Hamilton on The Limitations of Being a Purist, Invention vs. Ownership + Why He Never Had a Sticker Deal 

Untold stories from his How Surfers Get Paid interview.

Jul 4, 2025

When Surfer’s Eye Is Actually Cancer

Erin Campbell's brutal journey from surf camp dreams to chemo drops, cryotherapy, and surgical horror.

Jul 3, 2025

Surfing’s 2025 Q2 Report

An assessment of surfing's vital signs throughout the second quarter of 2025.

Jul 2, 2025

What Actually Happened to Occy’s Mad Max Plunger Pool In Yeppoon?

Surf Lakes’ brass talks: internet hecklers, the unplugging of the plunger, and the Tom Curren…

Jul 2, 2025

Poor Goofy Foots 

Data shows that the world is stacked against goofs — they even make 15% less money than…

Jul 1, 2025

Britain’s First Wavepool Has Closed — What Really Happened?

Bankruptcy, social media hackings, debts unpaid — and yet, reopening looms.

Jul 1, 2025

Watch: Was Matt Meola’s Air Actually Better Than Hughie’s?

Watch the full Swatch Nines highlight reel and decide.

Jun 30, 2025
Advertisement