Which Airline* Split 5 Of Kanoa Igarashi’s Boards In Half

Nothing.

And we mean nothing sends surfs fans into a tap-happy frenzy like a professional surfer’s board bag being opened after a long travel to reveal surfboards that appear to have been smashed by an Acme Anvil (See John Florence and Jet Blue or Alex Gray and American Airlines).

The reason being, it’s the most relatable thing someone who surfs for a living can present to those who do it for the love of the brine. Most of us have never attempted or landed a full rote, or an air-revo for that matter; most traveling surfers have never navigated the foamball and exited after the spit; nor have they traveled to idyllic surf havens on their sponsor’s dime with five-to-ten disposable boards in tow.

But, nearly every traveling surfer (who’ve done three-plus surf trips in their life) have opened their coffin to reveal a puncture, a cracked rail, a popped nose or creased tail upon arrival to the destination they flexed their remaining Amex funds on. Or upon returning home — which stings, but a bit less than having your tube shooting dreams shattered by a newly creased tail.

It’s the most unavoidable tragedy the peasants share with the upper echelons of surf royalty.

So here’s a quick look at the tarmac destruction of Kanoa’s new Sharp Eye quiver after his return from the World Cup (He’s officially off CI and on the Eye – more to come on that in the next few days).

“Got my boardbag back after being lost for a week! Which angry fan in Russia broke my boards at the airport?” asked Kanoa in his Instagram post, which at this time as garnered 336k views and 1,500 comments. 

“It [the board bag] was last left with TAP [Air Portugal], but it didn’t get on the plane because I left World Cup the day after it finished,” Kanoa tells Stab. “It was hectic leaving there. I don’t blame the airline for that but more so the airport… then the boards had to get sent from Lisbon to LAX but tap doesn’t do that route so could have been any company!** Then they had some random family deliver it to my house…” 

At Stab, not much makes us happier than the outwritten people of social media turning on an Airline’s Instagram.

One: Because the hatred and comments are usually futile.
Two: It shows the real nature in all keyboard warriors looking for instant gratification in likes, replies and er… justice.
Three: It actually works sometimes – Alex Gray got back $3.5k after his American Airline debacle.

If the pen is mightier than the sword then what’s that make the keyboard?

*We are waiting on the official confirmation of what airline’s Instagram you should lob your molotav cocktails at… this space will fill soon. 

**Apparently the verdict of who to blame is still out. But if you’d like to assualt any given airline that’s harmed or offended you, that’s your call.