Stab Podcast: The Final Surf Sin
Plus: we’re launching a Stab Premium quiz show.
Editor’s note: Sign up for our new podcast quiz show (2 questions right equals a new surfboard) at the bottom of this article.
Our healing journey has come to an end.
This week’s episode of The Drop marks the last edition of the Surf Sin, where Mikey C and Buck hear listeners confess to a wide range of surf-related sins and provide a penance in the hopes that their souls can be absolved.
Our final sin comes from a man who committed what he calls “the original sin” — selling his first surfboard. In this case, our man traded his OG, channel bottom Simon Anderson thruster for $80.
“I regret it to this day 30 years later,” our sinner said. “Every time I see one in a shop, every time I’m down at Bells, every time I see a Simon Anderson board, it hurts my heart.”
We’ve all broken or gotten rid of special boards for one reason or another, but selling your first sled, which just so happens to be a special piece of surf memorabilia, just tugs at the heartstrings. Mikey’s penance is markedly wholesome — order a custom from Simon for his own kid and hope that the sins of the father don’t pass on to the next generation. Buck’s suggestion could be a blessing or a curse, depending on your board preference. Because he scorned the creator of the thruster, our sinner can only ride twin fins for one year.
Oh, and he’ll only be fully healed if he does both penances (and has a child to give the custom to).
In the years since Stab has hosted this semi-safe confessional space, we’ve heard everything from the benign to the bizarre to the potentially criminal. There was the classic stuff like systemically “borrowing” wax, dinged boards and the occasional burn. Then there was some outright unhinged activity like painting a borrowed longboard entirely black, leaving someone alone in the lineup at the mercy of approaching crocodiles, and pissing on your own hands to bring back circulation (hello, Raglan Surf Report).
And don’t forget this cheater!
You made us cringe. But you also made us laugh. I’ve never heard Buck cackle harder than when someone recounted kicking out of a wave only to land on top of a unsuspecting Russian swimmer. And I can only hope that the guy who closes his eyes in the barrel (“Every time, for 40 years”) will finally see the light.
To replace the Surf Sin segment on the pod, we’re launching a Stab Premium quiz show, where one lucky premo member will join Mikey and Buck on the podcast and get peppered with questions regarding recent surf news.
This is not a historical quiz show and will focus on current events and recent Stab content. So it pays to be in the know. Prizes will be offered. Finally, Buck has an excuse to offload some of his wetsuits.
If you’re a Premium member and want to take part, just drop your email in here and we’ll put you on the list.
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