What Do Interpretive Dancers, The 2024 Pipe Pro Champ, Erin Brooks, And A Convict Toaster Vehicle Have In Common? - Stab Mag

Now Live: Ferrari Boyz With Harry Bryant (Redux)

34 Views
Bet this makes you hungry for Sunset. Edit: Caity Simmers | Clips : Leo Noble | Color: Sam Noble

What Do Interpretive Dancers, The 2024 Pipe Pro Champ, Erin Brooks, And A Convict Toaster Vehicle Have In Common?

Oceanside. Watch Caity Simmer’s love letter to home.

cinema // Feb 14, 2024
Words by Coral McDuffee
Reading Time: 3 minutes
“We don’t get much good days at home so when it happens it’s pretty great! Just a friendly Oceanside surf segment.” – Caity Simmers writes.

760 is the area code of Oceanside, the military town where the Simmers live. Once a beachside haven for the blue-collar, the phone demographic has shifted more towards codes like 949 (San Clemente), 310 (LA), and 415 (San Fran). The new numbers pay $2.2 – 5 mil to live where our parents settled in ’98 for $415 per month. The cry is free. And flat whites are not.

Caity reps her hometown after declaring, “PIPELINE IS FOR THE FUCKING GIRLS.”

However, a trained eye can peel back the layers of gentrified sprinter vans and neon cockerels to experience the O’s original flavor. A vibrancy that looks like a Lowrider-bumping rap artist, “Bishop Snow.” Or the surf tech lords, like Zach Rhinehart (Rip) and Deck Bocklemen, throwing flip trix. Or the solo evangelist howling into a Fanta sunset.

Imagine it’s Y2K in Oceanside: Zach Phinehart, Derek Bockelman, Ben Wei, Eric Mchenry, and Aaron Schmidt pioneer shuv-its and big spins. Surf brands don’t get behind the new tech or 760 pedigrees. Rather than sucking the another city’s teet, the black sheep got to work.

Before Caity’s earth-shattering shake of the Banzai tree, she spent her time hanging with ‘the homies’, surf-tripping, and forking around town. In the 2024 Pipe Pro winner’s ode to the “760,” you’ll find counterculture, ethereal railwork, and a callout to Oceanside’s finest — Timo Simmers, Ryder Smith, and Ryan Risko.

After eliminating the familiar subjects, I called the police. Photo: Nate Lawrence

So what’s with the rogue Toaster getaway scene? While the footage is from a separate incident, the premise is based on a true story. While we were on a soon-to-be-released project in the Philippines, an unfortunate soul picked a Scion XB to steal (mine).

The story goes: A desperate individual was looking for a getaway vehicle and picked the first one with an unlocked door (whoops), conveniently parked next to the 5 freeway. After rummaging amongst musty wetsuits, 10 years of sand build up, and maybe Covid 3.0 — the guy Jimmy-rigged my transmission and fled at the turbo max of 80 mph.

Caity accepts her SSOTY on the Toaster after the relic was returned to it’s rightful owner. Sentimental value 1.5 M | Actual value <1000

Our villain’s fatal flaw was his inability to ignore the stench of wetsuit piss. So he stopped at a gas station, cleaned out the whip, hosed the windows, and bought an air freshener — giving the police (tracking via low-jack) time to catch up. A few minutes after leaving the gas station, he was chased, cornered, and ripped out of the cube in Laguna Beach. Caity says it’s good thing the car got a wash after 10 years, but I worry her # 1 defense mechanism is gone.

Long live the TOASTER. Ps: We’ve asked the police & DA to release the bodycam footage, without luck. Any tips would be appreciated.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

The Cut Wasn’t The Surf Fans’ Idea — But It Might Be Our Fault

Psychoanalyzing surfing’s highly sadistic audience (us!).

Apr 23, 2024

How Surfers (And Skiers/Snowboarders) Could Be Using Buoys Better

Snow in Japan = waves at Pipe = snow in Utah, @PowderBuoy told us.

Apr 22, 2024

How Did Sydney’s Hottest Landscape Architect Stack So Many Clips Less Than 10Kms From Centrepoint Tower? 

Fraser Dovell is a man of culture, taste and jabbing North Av lefts in the…

Apr 22, 2024

Full Frame: The Other Side Of Nazaré

The death of a wave, and the birth of an entire genre of surf. 

Apr 21, 2024

Jack Robbo Double Beats Double John At Margies, Gabriela Bryan Dodges Dolphins For Maiden Win

The cut is finished - WA finals recap.

Apr 21, 2024

Watch: A Leisurely Day With Fingal’s-Most-Wanted Foamball Wrangler

Lungi Slabb and filmmaker Beren Hall offer insight into the exact specs which bring GoPro…

Apr 20, 2024

The Stab Interview: Chippa Wilson

On childhood bullies, surfing bigger waves, the making of 'Zipper', and what's on the horizon…

Apr 19, 2024

Medina Cooked at WSL Judges’ BBQ, George Pittar Flares En Route To Finals Day

Four heats, a nine point ride, and some brotherly tears.

Apr 19, 2024

Ferrari Boyz: Harry Bryant (Redux)

A Land Cruiser, a shitting collie, a tank of petrol, and a wild Haz in…

Apr 18, 2024

Surprise! Margies Ran At Southside Today

No rest for the wicked - day 5 WA recap.

Apr 18, 2024

A Dispatch From The Best Run Of Swell Northwest Australia May Ever See

Three weeks of pumping surf, two decades ago, that changed this writer's life.

Apr 17, 2024

Nichols, Silva + Spencer Cut, Robinson Lives To Fight Another Day

Waiting: a polite term for slowly losing your mind - here's what happened in WA…

Apr 17, 2024

The Pupo Brothers Will Face Off At Margs, And Only The Winner Can Stay On Tour

Let's look at every match-up that will seal a CT surfer's fate.

Apr 16, 2024

THE KING IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE GOAT

After 30 seasons on tour, 56 event wins & 11 world titles, Kelly Slater has…

Apr 16, 2024

Slater Takes His Last Dance, 7 More Men Axed From The CT

Day 3 WA recap.

Apr 16, 2024

Did Kelly Slater Just Retire?

3 decades, 56 event wins, and 11 World Titles later.

Apr 16, 2024

Goofies Dominate, Ewing Detonates, The GOAT Is Led To Slaughter

Once cut, twice shy.

Apr 15, 2024

The Eddie Gets A New Headline Sponsor, Coca Cola Group Stickers A 2x World Champ, The Tractor Scoops Up 2x SSOTY Winner + SITD Star Parts Ways With O’Neill

The surf industry is showing signs of life — here's a Q1 2024 update.

Apr 13, 2024
Advertisement