“We’re Taking Some Chances With Our Lives By Being Out Here”

The Florence Fear Safari has finally crawled out of the woodwork. Bit of a late arrival for the season opener, considering it’s already April — probably a side effect of your local having a historic fucking winter. But hey, it’s in our hands now, so let’s get to it.

“If you’re looking around and there’s boogs, you know that’s a good sign,” Nate says, eyes narrowed, sniffing out his prize like a vulture. He’s peering out the window of a Chilean apartment, where he, brother Ivan, and Zoard are holed up. Below, a few lonely bodyboarders bob in the foaming dark.

“We could go to places that are more sure scores,” Nate admits. “But this year, we’ve decided we want to explore new waves.”

A noble pursuit. But the real question circling this season isn’t about waves — it’s about John. With big bro officially done with the hamster wheel of competitive surfing, speculation is rife: will he become an official member of the Florentine naval force?

The first stop suggests no. But the year is long.

Not that it really matters. As the episode’s aggressively DIY text overlay declares, this cockeyed southern hemi shelf has never been paddled before. Another planetary notch written into the belt of the middle Florence child.