Watch: The Dumbest Thing We’ve Seen This Week!

I’ve done a lot of stupid shit over the years. 

Once, when I was in college I dyed my hair black because I thought it would look cool and ended up painting my forehead a shade of grey that took weeks to fade.

I’ve tried to sneak out a fart in front of my wife’s hot friends and ended up shitting my pants on a fine summer day.

I did it again on a deserted road that ran along the Red Sea and enjoyed the privilege of washing my ass in ankle deep water while a jam-packed tour bus drove slowly past

I licked a jellyfish once, because I was drunk and thought it would be funny.

I don’t think I’m a stupid man, but I’ve done stupid things.

Fortunately, I’m a writer, not a filmer or photographer. So the only evidence is my memory. Which is vague and drug-addled and only semi-reliable.

For instance: I’m fairly sure that, when I was younger, I was much better looking.

I do enjoy watching other people do stupid shit.  

Like, when a too-old-to-vlog boner makes a video about “nearly drowning,” shows off a fairly minor buckle in his board, then proceeds to destroy the thing because he’s convinced it’s ruined.

That’s some stupid shit.