The Worst Way To Break Your Surfboard

Bad news travels fast, and if you weren’t anywhere near the East Australian coastline recently, Sheldon Simkus has some to deliver.

A week-long swell turned the wave tap on from southern New South Wales all the way north to the Sunshine Coast, offering plentiful opportunities for those who like to stand on fiberglass: beachies, points, reefs, bombies — your call.

The favorable wind and swell patterns created a mid-winter wonder that resembled a run of groomed and solid surf that’s usually reserved for autumn months.

Edited by Jesse Little — who also filmed and edited Sierra Kerr’s first signature edit, “Pre-Kerrsor” — Sheldon Simkus’ new upload documents Sheldon’s prodigious talents in the water and graceless demeanor on land. It features the most awkward board break we’ve seen since Dion Agius’ involuntary attempt at a vasectomy, and certainly one that’s harder to explain to your shaper.

The resulting smile could only come from someone who gets surfboards for free.