Jordy Smith’s Guide To Selective Honesty

Have we reached a consensus on surf reports delivered in loco hominis?

What are the ethics of sending live updates from the beach? How detailed should they be? A quick text saying you’re about to paddle out, a quick photo, communicating size range and conditions, a video of a set rolling in?

If this is a dawn patrol dispatch, the receiver might still be tucked in tight like beans and rice wrapped in a warm tortilla. If it’s good, they’ll have to drag themselves into the cold knowing it’ll be worth it. If it’s rubbish, they’ll snooze the extra hour. A win in both cases.

You have to like your friends very much for this sort of good deed. Or, in Jordy Smith’s case, you might simply want to reduce the statistical probability of becoming an hors d’oeuvre for South African marine life. Safety in numbers, and all that.

In his latest YouTube upload, titled with intentional understatement — Fun surf at home — Jordy spoke into his phone: “Four to six, clean” before paddling out into precisely that. Except it wasn’t, was it? As the South African threads wedgy barrel after glassy barrel, you begin to question his relationship with veracity.

Couldn’t he just say it was going off?

Maybe he was just maintaining plausible deniability while keeping a lineup under reasonable control. Jordy Smith: World #3, diplomat.