Stab Magazine | John Florence At Chopes Narrated By Barton Lynch > Your Morning Podcast

EAST with Harry Bryant is here

370 Views

John Florence At Chopes Narrated By Barton Lynch > Your Morning Podcast

Barton should commentate anything, everything! 

cinema // Aug 26, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

There’s no voice on the WSL commentary team that makes me gleam like Barton’s. I just came across this Sports Science meets the WSL meets Hurley Surf Club meets John Florence at Chopes and have been lifted.

“John only takes a few strokes to get into this wave,” he says with a slight chuckle, “they’re ferocious; they’re determined. The only way to surf a wave like this is to get to your feet with lightning reflexes!”

He’s the David Attenborough of surf. His voice could dress any subject in suede or Italian leather. He has the knowledge and enthusiasm for surfing that’s only rivalled by Steve Irwin on crocs, or Jeremy Wade on extreme freshwater angling.

And now, a few suggestions for Barton’s voice, including but not limited to, that’d bring many smiles:

Barton on the North Korea situation.

Barton on Laird’s new haircut: “The Laird”.

Barton commentates the Floyd Merriweather vs Conner McGregor fight.

Barton in the voice generator of Steven Hawking.

Barton reveals the birds and the bees to elementary students.

Barton watches Ancient Aliens.

Barton narrates erotic Afrofuturism fiction.

Oh, the possibilities!

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

2026 Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico, Episode 07

One right, one left, and an air decide our fourth finalist.

Aug 24, 2026

The Makings Of ‘Hossegor Beach Cocaine’ | StabMic Ep. 28 | Paul Evans

“Oh, by the way… did you happen to find 11kgs of the cartel’s cocaine on…

Aug 24, 2026

Rain… With A Chance Of Thunder?

Your 2026 Fiji Pro Preview, beamed direct from Tavarua.

Aug 23, 2026

Hossegor Beach Cocaine Episode 3: Peaking

“It’s all very easy being the man when you’ve got the best cocaine known to…

Aug 22, 2026

Watch BLACKBALL: The Hardcore World of Wedge Bodysurfing

"I've spent my whole life hating rules. This is the only time I actually back…

Aug 21, 2026

Padang’s New Management: Gen Z

Rajo Barrel and Lucy Darragh can’t legally drink beer, but they can whip some of…

Aug 21, 2026

Why British Surfing Is Shit(e)

The Great British sewage problem.

Aug 21, 2026

We Brought In Two Proper Heavyweights For Our Surf100 Finale

A World Champion and freesurfing’s reigning MVP join the final four, with $100,000 on the…

Aug 20, 2026

Replay: Rip Curl Cup Padang 2026

Quite the show.

Aug 19, 2026

Watch: EAST Starring Harry Bryant, Episode One

10 non-conforming surfboards vs your favorite blonde mop.

Aug 18, 2026

We Will Never Run A Live Surf Event In The Ocean

Mother Nature remains undefeated.

Aug 18, 2026

Kolohe Andino Is Sick Of Watching Surfers Eat Breakfast | StabMic Ep. 27

"We need to make surfers look cool again."

Aug 17, 2026

Want A Free Trip To Kandui With Some Custom Boards In The Mix?

Benji Brand can vouch for goofy season on Karangmajat island. 

Aug 17, 2026

Why There’s “No Free Ride Anymore”In Pro Surfing

Ian Crane on modern Surfenomics, bigger airs, and why creativity still matters

Aug 16, 2026

Hossegor Beach Cocaine Episode 2: The White Tide

What happens when a sleepy surf town is flooded with sniffly white powder?

Aug 14, 2026

Shaper Reveal: EAST With Harry Bryant

10 shapers, hand-picked and delivered blindly to our first goofy-footed test pilot.

Aug 14, 2026

The Underdogs Shall Inherit The Earth

Low seeds reign on Teahupo'o finals day.

Aug 14, 2026

How To Have A Tits Out Summer On Your Terms

Stab's 2026 swimwear review.

Aug 13, 2026
Advertisement