Stab Magazine | Yadin Nicol’s World Tour Superlatives!
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Yadin Nicol’s World Tour Superlatives!

Story by Theo Lewitt For the avid surf-fan, the week of ultra-suspense leading up to Snapper is straight tough. Between friends, wagers must be made. Online, digital dollars await a spending spree for a cyber team. All the while, excitement builds with each piece of contest scaffolding bolted into place. We study the tour’s rookies, dissect Stanfield’s stats, and exercise our Aristotelian logic until we feel like an expert should… Enough to predict some heat wins, at least. But, we can’t. It’s old news that luck is an ever-present factor which often downgrades our pro predictions into mere guesses. So, we decided to steer clear of said predictions, and make some… different ones. Yadin Nicol delivered moments of brilliance during his time on tour and mostly rolls with #nofilter on land. Plus, he knows the 34 well enough to call a list of superlatives. So, here’s what he gave us: Most likely to cry after an event win? Well, Jordy has done it. Medina does it every time. I think Brother would maybe cry if he won. Most likely to have a big night out before an event? Oooh, Wilko. Most likely to have the highest claim count? Jeez, it’s fucked these days. It’s far out, everyone claims. Pretty lame. Bringing it down to one person? Mick is pretty gnarly. I’m sure he’s gonna get through a bunch of heats, so probably Mick. Most likely to show up at an event with cauliflower ear? Like from wrestling? That’s a new trend now, isn’t it, with Jiu Jitsu and all. I guess Michel Bourez has been going pretty hard from what I’ve heard. Brother, coming for yo girl. Photo: Life Without Andy Most likely to get caught texting someone else’s girl? Ah, that’s already happened… I’m sure he’d be a repeat offender though! Most likely to charge the judges tower after a heat loss? Jeremy loves to, doesn’t he? Most likely to have a ridiculous pre-heat warm up on the webcast? Owen’ll have some good ones. Most likely to have a breakthrough year? I guess that’s aimed at the back half, huh? I think Filipe is gonna do well. I think he’ll be in the top 10 this year. Most likely to become a crowd favorite? The Aussies are in there. Mick and Joel. Simpo, the people’s champ. Most likely to have the best #tournotes moment? Simpo always has ‘em. Most likely to be the WT’s class clown? I think he’s trying to get away from it, but Simpo is still right there. Most likely to farm the best beard? I dunno, but I’ll tell you who has to get rid of his… Kolohe. That thing’s disgusting. I guess John (Florence) was trying for a bit, but that was pretty foul too. But I can’t get a good one and I’m fricken 29. I think next year is the year for me (laughs). Most likely to rule the d-floor at an after party? I haven’t really seen Sebastian Zietz in action, but I’ve heard he’s pretty gnarly on the dance floor. Most likely to say something R-rated in a post heat interview? Freddy P, f’sure. Do you even lift, bro? Photo: Tom Carey Most likely to be the tour’s gym rat? Oh man. Dusty needs to get outta the gym. It’s been bulking season for him. Least likely to train? Everyone kinda trains, but I guess you’d have to go back to Wilko again. Most likely to be coached by a parent? Everyone seems old these days. I mean, there’s Filipe… His dad is there every single time. I don’t think his dad is ever gonna leave. Most likely to pull a 540 in the jersey? Italo Ferreira. Most likely to do a Rogaine commercial? There’s too many in there (laughs). CJ is goin bald, Freddy P, Ace is going bald a bit, Julian needs it bad, Taj is hanging in there. And then you’ve got Kelly. That’s the obvious one. Oh, and Jordy. He needs it bad, too. Most likely to drop a knee this year? Jules looks pretty loved up… Yadin stars in a rarely-celebrated moment of post-flight, France. Photo: Quinn Matthews

news // Mar 8, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: 3 minutes

Story by Theo Lewitt

For the avid surf-fan, the week of ultra-suspense leading up to Snapper is straight tough. Between friends, wagers must be made. Online, digital dollars await a spending spree for a cyber team. All the while, excitement builds with each piece of contest scaffolding bolted into place. We study the tour’s rookies, dissect Stanfield’s stats, and exercise our Aristotelian logic until we feel like an expert should… Enough to predict some heat wins, at least. But, we can’t. It’s old news that luck is an ever-present factor which often downgrades our pro predictions into mere guesses. So, we decided to steer clear of said predictions, and make some… different ones. Yadin Nicol delivered moments of brilliance during his time on tour and mostly rolls with #nofilter on land. Plus, he knows the 34 well enough to call a list of superlatives. So, here’s what he gave us:

Most likely to cry after an event win? Well, Jordy has done it. Medina does it every time. I think Brother would maybe cry if he won.

Most likely to have a big night out before an event? Oooh, Wilko.

Most likely to have the highest claim count? Jeez, it’s fucked these days. It’s far out, everyone claims. Pretty lame. Bringing it down to one person? Mick is pretty gnarly. I’m sure he’s gonna get through a bunch of heats, so probably Mick.

Most likely to show up at an event with cauliflower ear? Like from wrestling? That’s a new trend now, isn’t it, with Jiu Jitsu and all. I guess Michel Bourez has been going pretty hard from what I’ve heard.

Brother, coming for yo girl. Photo: Life Without Andy

Brother, coming for yo girl. Photo: Life Without Andy

Most likely to get caught texting someone else’s girl? Ah, that’s already happened… I’m sure he’d be a repeat offender though!

Most likely to charge the judges tower after a heat loss? Jeremy loves to, doesn’t he?

Most likely to have a ridiculous pre-heat warm up on the webcast? Owen’ll have some good ones.

Most likely to have a breakthrough year? I guess that’s aimed at the back half, huh? I think Filipe is gonna do well. I think he’ll be in the top 10 this year.

Most likely to become a crowd favorite? The Aussies are in there. Mick and Joel.

Simpo, the people's champ.

Simpo, the people’s champ.

Most likely to have the best #tournotes moment? Simpo always has ‘em.

Most likely to be the WT’s class clown? I think he’s trying to get away from it, but Simpo is still right there.

Most likely to farm the best beard? I dunno, but I’ll tell you who has to get rid of his… Kolohe. That thing’s disgusting. I guess John (Florence) was trying for a bit, but that was pretty foul too. But I can’t get a good one and I’m fricken 29. I think next year is the year for me (laughs).

Most likely to rule the d-floor at an after party? I haven’t really seen Sebastian Zietz in action, but I’ve heard he’s pretty gnarly on the dance floor.

Most likely to say something R-rated in a post heat interview? Freddy P, f’sure.

Do you even lift, bro? Photo: Tom Carey

Do you even lift, bro? Photo: Tom Carey

Most likely to be the tour’s gym rat? Oh man. Dusty needs to get outta the gym. It’s been bulking season for him.

Least likely to train? Everyone kinda trains, but I guess you’d have to go back to Wilko again.

Most likely to be coached by a parent? Everyone seems old these days. I mean, there’s Filipe… His dad is there every single time. I don’t think his dad is ever gonna leave.

Most likely to pull a 540 in the jersey? Italo Ferreira.

Most likely to do a Rogaine commercial? There’s too many in there (laughs). CJ is goin bald, Freddy P, Ace is going bald a bit, Julian needs it bad, Taj is hanging in there. And then you’ve got Kelly. That’s the obvious one. Oh, and Jordy. He needs it bad, too.

Most likely to drop a knee this year? Jules looks pretty loved up…

Yadin_Quinn_Matthews_France

Yadin stars in a rarely-celebrated moment of post-flight, France. Photo: Quinn Matthews

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