Stab Magazine | WOMAN'S FINGERS "DECAPITATED" IN SURFING INCIDENT. HILLARY CLINTON TO BLAME?
509 Views

WOMAN’S FINGERS “DECAPITATED” IN SURFING INCIDENT. HILLARY CLINTON TO BLAME?

Stab tackles a truly alarming story hidden by the #DeepState

news // Aug 30, 2018
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Surfing is a dangerous sport.

Many have lost limbs. Some have been paralyzed. Others have literally died at the firm hands of Zeus.

And then just one week ago, right-wing conspiracy blogger Liz Crokin lost two fingers in a surfing accident. According to the video she posted to YouTube, Crokin was dragging her board by (what sounds like was) its leash string when a collision with a wave caused a severe strain on the string, thus causing the “decapitation” (her words) of her two intertwined digits.

Crokin, who is moderately famous for her beliefs in an elite pedofile ring (boasting 90k Twitter followers and 34k YouTube subs), took to Twitter to chronicle the situation, which started normally enough but quickly veered into the obscure:

Screen Shot 2018 08 29 at 8.36.01 PM

Screen Shot 2018 08 29 at 8.36.08 PM

Screen Shot 2018 08 29 at 8.36.16 PM

Finger foods?! Guys and sponge baths?! Sorry… continue.

Screen Shot 2018 08 29 at 8.36.46 PM

Screen Shot 2018 08 29 at 8.36.56 PM

If those tweets didn’t effectively elucidate Crokin’s beliefs, sit back and enjoy this snippet from her 24-minute recount of the surfing incident, in which she indirectly implicates Democratic presidential nominee and a world-renowned performance artist  in her surfing incident:

https://www.youtube.com/embed/P2sW6uGzhZU

“These people that I expose engage in witchcraft,” Crokin said. “You know, the people like Marina Abramović, the people like Hillary Clinton, [the people] from the deep state articles that are getting ready to write a hit piece on me right now. Well, look it up. Look it up. Do research on Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton and their trip to Haiti and how—I think it was on their honeymoon—they admitted to doing voodoo there together. Research Marina Abramović; she talks about the rituals she does, she’s an occultist.

“All these people dabble in witchcraft and spirit cooking,” she added. “So, do these people do witchcraft against me? Of course they do. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they were casting spells on me the night before.”

So what do you think? Could Hillary and Marina be behind this brutal de-fingering by way of black magic, or did Crokin simply stick her fingers in the wrong hole?

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Watch: Episode 01 of Stab In The Dark X Starring Kelly Slater

Who will the greatest surfer of all time crown the shaper of the decade?

Jan 17, 2026

What Was It Really Like To Hang With Andy And Bruce In The 90s?

The Stab Interview with Lost Generation filmer and poke sauce peddler, Patrick “Tupat” Eichsteadt.

Jan 16, 2026

Golfers v Surfers: Newport’s Wavepool Battle Rages On

The worlds biggest Wavegarden will cost you 3 holes, a driving range, and $250,000 per…

Jan 15, 2026

2025 Was The Year Of The Rat

Comment of the Year 2025 goes to...

Jan 13, 2026

We Had Eight World Class Surfers Blind Test 117 Surfboards From 37 Shapers

This is the story of Stab In The Dark, so far.

Jan 12, 2026

Do We Appreciate Creed McTaggart Enough?

GERAMANIA — ASIA DOWN THE LINE

Jan 12, 2026

The Year Of Magic Boards, Bare Thighs, Strong Chins & Euro Dominance Is Upon Us

Read Stab's 2026 predictions, and take our future-telling quiz

Jan 11, 2026

“One Of Those Forecasts That’s So Scary You’re Kinda Hoping It Goes Onshore”

The Gaelic swell that put three of the world's best big wave surfers on the…

Jan 9, 2026

SEOTY: Eithan Osborne Stars In ‘Lost Pinterest’

Two bionic shoulders, an extra $100,000 in the bank, and a lot of sand-bottom Mexican…

Jan 8, 2026

Revealed: The 5 SITD-Winning Shapers Listed In The Kelly Files

The nerve to throw in a swallow-tail...

Jan 8, 2026

Had A Beer With A Stranger, Ended Up In A War

How a pleasure-seeking Indo trip became a tour of duty in Ukraine's frontline.

Jan 7, 2026

The Most Spectacular Waves Of 2025

Saltwater // chlorine.

Jan 6, 2026

49 Surfers Dead: A Dark History Of Brazil’s Southern Coast

The most lethal surf coast you've never heard of.

Jan 4, 2026

We Tracked The Board-Buying Habits Of 7,500 Surfers 

What, why, and how much are we buying? 

Jan 2, 2026

Surfing’s 2025 Q4 Report

Detecting surfing’s dark matters.

Jan 1, 2026

Noa Deane Wins Stab Surfer Of The Year 2025, Best Male

Two films, one edit, and three film sections later, Noa's incomparable work ethic pays off.

Dec 31, 2025

Breaking: Medina Splits With Rip Curl, Noa Deane Signs On The Jagged Line, Yago Dora’s New Brand Revealed

2025's grand industry finale.

Dec 30, 2025

Molly Picklum Wins Stab Surfer Of The Year 2025, Best Female

The year of Pickles, immortalized once and for all.

Dec 30, 2025
Advertisement