Stab Magazine | Woman Arrested For Surfing While Infected With The Rona!

Woman Arrested For Surfing While Infected With The Rona!

By a man in an actual hazmat suit. Bravo. 

Words by stab

Do you remember when surfers were seen as outlaws and miscreants? When we did not bend, but rather snapped society’s rules over our well-tanned knees? When our concept of “counter-culture” had nothing to do with marble or granite?

Well that sentiment is still alive and well, in Spain of all places. This from a most reputable news source, the UK’s Daily Mail:

A woman was arrested on a Spanish beach after going surfing while she was suffering from coronavirus.

Police handcuffed her on La Zurriola beach in the northern city of San Sebastian.

Screen Shot 2020 09 08 at 11.29.11 AM

Local reports said the unnamed woman had worked as a lifeguard at San Sebastian’s famous La Concha beach this summer and colleagues were the ones who phoned police after spotting her in the water.

Photos published by a local paper showed two people in hazmat suits escorting her on the sand in a neoprene top and bikini bottom with a face mask on.

She is expected to face a heavy fine for breaching strict quarantine rules which could be up to £5,500. 

However, if it is discovered she has passed coronavirus on to another person through her actions, the fine would be more than £100,000.

Screen Shot 2020 09 08 at 11.02.55 AM

This looks like a stunt from Remi Gaillard. Alas, it is real. 

First of all, how do we feel about the fellow lifeguards who ratted homegirl out? On one hand, snitches get stitches. On the other hand, the surf looks terribly fun and I can understand them wanting to clear the lineup by any means necessary. One less body in the water is three more botched cutbacks for them.

Second, did the cops have any proof that this woman was infected, or did they just take her “friends'” word for it? I sense a sizable lawsuit coming San Sebastian’s way if the woman ends up being healthy. How much emotional damage was inflicted by removing her from these playful chest-high wedges? One, two million (Euro)? 

Lastly, if she did infect another human on her rabid surfing spree, that would be some fucking impressive surfing. Imagine the spray she’d need to generate to transmit this novel virus to another person in the surf. That $100,000 fee will be easily covered by her first year on Tour. 


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