The best quotes from the 2015 Pipe Masters

Goddamn, that was an intense two days. From the moment Bede Durbidge fractured and displaced his pelvis and was dragged up the beach screaming first thing yesterday morning, to the last three heats of the event today – and everything in between – it didn’t feel very lighthearted. But, there were moments! Here and there, some key individuals curated words that offered brief comedic relief or insight. Here’s a bunch of our favourites. “The year he’s having… I haven’t seen a rookie do that since Bobby Martinez.” – CJ Hobgood on Italo Ferreira. “I hate to sound cheesy, but you really can’t script this.” – Ross Williams, pre-#superheat. “On a day like today, it’s anybody’s game.” – John John Florence on the second last day. “I almost did the claim pull, then I pulled the claim.” – Seabass on his 10. “Wow, what a weird heat.” – Ross Williams after Mason Ho defeated Filipe Toledo. “Look at this drop, it’s massive! And it looks even bigger on Glen Hall.” – Pottz. “I’m done, I’m going home. I’m gonna sell all my boards, I’ve got one twinny that I’ve ordered, and a set of golf clubs. That’ll do me.” – Micro Hall on retirement. “I had two things fire me up today. The first was Kelly Slater telling me I sucked online. The second is Mick, he’s having a rough trot at the moment so I just wanted to help him out.” – Micro Hall, on motivation. “What a privilege to call that heat.” – Ross Williams on Kelly vs Mick vs John. “Barely fell out of the lip before it clipped his bald head.” – Ross Williams on Kelly’s last-minute Backdoor airdrop. “I think you could build a couple of humans with the amount of skin lost on the reef at Pipe.” – Pottz, post-Adam Melling’s horrific round four flogging. “As you can see on your screen, there’s all kinds of caves and crevices and creases in the reef. It’s a haunted house out there.” – Ross Williams, on the Pipeline reef. “Mason Ho said coming in to his event he just wanted to make his dad proud.” – Pottz commentates over Mason Ho’s masturbation claim. “It’s all happy stuff and it’s just nice out there.” – Mason Ho. “And I want to dedicate this world title to my brother. He bought me my first surfboard for $7. And I’m on top of the world, with $7. For him at that time, $7 was too much money, but he bought me my first surfboard with it.” – Adriano De Souza.