Sun Punishes The Misbehaving In G-Land Elimination Round - Stab Mag
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Jacko Baker is a bad, bad boy. Photo: WSL

Sun Punishes The Misbehaving In G-Land Elimination Round

Here, a wide-brimmed hat. Day 2 recap inside.

news // Jun 2, 2022
Words by Matt George
Reading Time: 7 minutes

Day two of the Quik Pro G-Land stumbled out of the jungle like a pack of hungover tourists, the light piercing their eyes like salty daggers and UV rays searing their skin with every solar throb.

Here’s what happened.

TLDR

  • A late start with the day eventually saw the completion of the women’s elimination round. 
  • Only three heats run due to Tyler Wright having to pull out of the competition after testing positive for Covid. Bronte Macaulay gets a free ride into the Quarters. 
  • After competitor complaints, the volume on the tower is turned up to 11. Heat calls can be heard in background of broadcast, adding to the festival atmosphere.
  • An angry looking Courtney Conlogue can’t make it past Johanne Defay. 
  • The world’s love affair with Sally Fitzgibbons continues as she sails into the Quarters over her sophomore room mate Isabella Nichols.
  • Lakey Peterson fights back from the brink to nip Gabriela Bryan.
  • Toledo and Carissa take the icons legends heat on replicas of legacy G-Land Surfboards. And they get to keep the boards.
Would love to see Fil’s new blade at 8-ft Speedies. (Photo by Matt Dunbar/World Surf League)

Armchair critic

A heat to replay: Heat 4. Watch Lakey Peterson get back up after being knocked down. 
Maneuver of the day: Lakey Peterson, Heat 4, comeback re-entry.
Worst call: There was none. All fair and square…again.
Quote of the day: Luke Egan: “That last turn of Lakey’s feel’s like a real turning point for her, she could go on to win this contest on that” 
Overall Commentary Rating: 7.0 (And once again, thank the jungle spirits for Luke Egan’s laconic, but honest appraisals. This guy knows some shit).  
The Vibe: It was great that the broadcast opened with a nature scene today. Must have been a pre-broadcast blip. Just a static shot from the beach. Strangely intimate and still. Long moments of it. A look behind the curtain instead of straight into the braying of the broadcast. Which, no matter where the broadcast team goes, is a dependable carbon copy of the previous contest location. But today, broadcast slip up or no, had just a few quiet moments of imagination, where you could see the beauty of G-Land and the peace to be found on a quiet, small day of surf here.

Jacko found the flow. (Photo by Ed Sloane/World Surf League)

A buzzing drone made its way through the shot like an errant dragonfly, and you could just hear Mark Clift, announcer extraordinaire, out on the tower telling — not asking, mind you, but telling — all the surfers to get the hell out of the water so they could start the first heat for the women. To be honest, the whole vibe felt like the day after a mushroom-fueled music festival. One of those contest days where long, cold drinks of water, if you could find ‘em, were the only means of survival. A day of hangovers and reflections on murky midnight couplings. The sun punishing the misbehaving.

After all, it’s been four whole days that the poor little pros have had to live in the jungle in close quarters with each other. And despite the boozy brother/sisterhood that only Jackson Baker seemed to have truly enjoyed, it was time was get back to work today. The broadcast screeched in and viewers were snapped out of it and back into the familiar. G-Land didn’t seem to mind so much. She has been dealing with the invasion since the 70’s and has never batted an eye.

Vicious invaders. (Photo by Matt Dunbar/World Surf League)

Heat Breakdowns

Heat 1: The mystery that is Tyler Wright once again has health issues. Mental or physical, they seem to hover around her career like a Bali Satoshi drone. This time, it’s rumored to be Covid. Per WSL protocols, she was a no-show and Bronte Macaulay gets a gift from the Gods.

Heat 2: On this day, Courtney looked like she was trying to break tackles, while Johanne just danced a smart ballet. Something more must be said about Courtney though. At least she was expressing herself as a warrior with her hair in tight braids, unlike the rest of the women, who seem to just wear their hair the way it grew.  

An artistic approach to the lip. (Photo by Ed Sloane/World Surf League)

Heat 3: Funny how this heat started with Turpel asking Richie Lovett about his most memorable moment from G-Land. When we all know it had to be from 1994 when he was swept into the jungle by a 20-foot Tsunami with the rest of his mates. Still, Richie, intelligent and thoughtful and one of the few surfers who has scored a perfect 10 in competition at G-Land, deftly avoided such commentary disaster. He brought it all back on track and helped us continue our love affair with Australia’s favorite sheila, Sally Fitzgibbons. (If ever a name deserved a world title next to it, there it is).

At first it looked like a catastrophe for our 14-year tour vet as her sophomore opponent and jungle roommate, Isabella Nichols, surfed literal circles around Sally with two waves in the first two minutes. At first, Bella just looked plain younger and more agile. But then a very sly Sally, looking as rubbery as Buttons Kaluhiokalani in his heyday (kudos to whoever gets that reference), began wearing Bella down to the nub. Actually forcing Bella into a rookie mistake with 1:42 left in the heat, losing her priority in the closing moments. Then Sally shut the door. Smiling that smile that could light up Sydney.  

Sal’s still got it. (Photo by Ed Sloane/World Surf League)

A quick break before the last heat for some post-heat interviews:

Johanne Defay: “I am going koo-koo now, just trying to get over the monkeys and all the fried rice.”

Dimity: “Well…that’s surfing, isn’t it?”

Courtney Conlogue: “I thought G-Land was gonna give me more, but it was more like south side Huntington Beach. I am going to wash this one off”. 

Heat 4: To be fair, the tide change screwed this heat up. But Gabriela Bryan didn’t seem to care. Her early 5.00 and 5.83 all but put this last heat of the day to rest. Lakey just couldn’t get anything going. Rushing her moves instead of being in the moment, not focusing on her maneuvers but just getting them done so she could get down the line. Gabriela looked a sure thing to breeze through the heat.

But then something funny happened. Lakey stopped trying so hard. She seemed to re-set, even paddling over a good wave to just sit alone for a few moments, picking at the wax on the deck of her board. Gabriela was damn near celebrating the win, when Lakey paddled back to the take-off spot and ripped a 6.83 and 5.60, the last two waves of her heat — including the move of the day. A well-thought-out, radical closeout re-entry that brought a gasp from the male gallery watching in the camp restaurant. Gabriela, rattled now, never recovered and Lakey took an elegant win. 

Girl’s got grit. (Photo by Ed Sloane/World Surf League)

The Quiksilver Icons of Surf Super Session: 

Forty minutes of today’s pros on old boards. And despite the struggles of Filipe and Kanoa and Carissa, only Stephanie Gilmore really understood the assignment. Her and maybe Jackson Baker in that goofy pink hat. 

All in all: The waves were good enough, the surfing was good enough and the kids seem to be having a good time, so what the hell. As Dimity Stoyle so wisely observed today “Well…that’s surfing, isn’t it?

Gamble Ramble

With the Bronte/Tyler heat getting canceled, Mikey C only had two live bets today. He went 1-1 and broke even on Betonline.ag.

  • $10 on Gabriela Bryan at +200 to win $20 LOST
  • $10 on Johanne Defay at +100 to win $10 WON

Day 2 earnings: $0
Event earnings: $127

Mikey’s Men’s R2 picks:

  • $50 on Samuel Pupo at +215 to win $108
  • $5 on Jake Marshall at +145 to win $7
  • $10 on Jackson Baker at +200 to win $20
  • $10 on Yago Dora at +160 to win $16

And here’s who Mikey thinks will win the damn thing.

Make your own bets here.

Till tomorrow. (Photo by Matt Dunbar/World Surf League)

Results

ROXY Pro G-Land Elimination Round 2 Results:
HEAT 1: Bronte Macaulay (AUS) DEF. Tyler Wright (AUS) INJ
HEAT 2: Johanne Defay (FRA) 13.97 DEF. Courtney Conlogue (USA) 10.13
HEAT 3: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) 11.83 DEF. Isabella Nichols (AUS) 7.67
HEAT 4: Lakey Peterson (USA) 12.43 DEF. Gabriela Bryan (HAW) 10.83

ROXY Pro G-Land Quarterfinal Matchups:
HEAT 1: Carissa Moore (HAW) vs. Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS)
HEAT 2: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA)
HEAT 3: Brisa Hennessy (CRI) vs. Bronte Macaulay (AUS)
HEAT 4: Johanne Defay (FRA) vs. Stephanie Gilmore (AUS)

Quiksilver Pro G-Land Elimination Round 2 Matchups:
HEAT 1: Filipe Toledo (BRA) vs. Yago Dora (BRA)
HEAT 2: Caio Ibelli (BRA) vs. Matthew McGillivray (ZAF)
HEAT 3: Kanoa Igarashi (JPN) vs. Jackson Baker (AUS)
HEAT 4: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Connor O’Leary (AUS)
HEAT 5: Barron Mamiya (HAW) vs. Jadson Andre (BRA)
HEAT 6: Kelly Slater (USA) vs. Samuel Pupo (BRA)
HEAT 7: Callum Robson (AUS) vs. Jake Marshall (USA)
HEAT 8: Kolohe Andino (USA) vs. Nat Young (USA)

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