Stab Podcast: The Argument For A Shrunken Men’s CT

This week on the podcast: don’t cry because it’s over; light a cigarette and sit with the emptiness.

The final episode of The Electric Acid Surfboard Test premiered in Australia and the US this week, and two days ago, it landed on our site for Stab Premium members.

David Rastovich was a masterpiece, raw and untouchable, the kind of beauty that leaves you feeling bruised for having witnessed it. But now, with the series wrapped, there’s an undeniable void, knowing he’ll retreat back to his sanctuary of tranquil horticulture, telepathic cetacean chats, and, as revealed in episode four, the occasional carnivorous indulgence. He’s gone, and the world feels smaller because of it. 

But, as he so often does, Michael Ciaramella stepped in to wipe away our collective tears, offering a promise of a future worth sticking around for.

“There’s still so much left on the cutting room floor that we already have a few ideas for content to come out on the backside of this. One of which may even be an entire spin-off series.” 

In other news, Jadson Andre’s life is over. This week, it was announced that the women’s world tour will expand from 18 to 24 spots in 2026 — a move long overdue and perfectly logical, given that the women’s tour was arguably more exciting than the men’s this year. But is there more to it? 

Mikey thinks there is. More surfers = more recycled journeymen = more deadweight heats = less spark.

“In the same way that women have earned their right for 24 surfers, I don’t think the bottom 12 surfers on the men’s side have brought enough value to earn their spot,” says our fighter for equality.

Also included: a professional anthropological study suggesting that the way we measure wave heights might just spill the ugly truth about our personalities. There are many ways to measure, many takes to consider, but perhaps the most logical — and profound — are these: Small, big, really big, and really fucking big. Simple as that.

As always, there’s another wave pool announcement, a fresh batch of unwanted gambling advice, and, naturally, a whole lot more on this episode of The Drop.