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Review: We Hacked Gucci x Leo Fioravanti's New Surf Game In Less Than 10 Minutes
Don't even bother trying to beat us, we've got the high score for all eternity.
Every year or so, someone tries to make a new surf video game.
The most interesting finding has been that, despite exponential technological advancement, general surf market growth, and a burgeoning global economy over the past two decades, none of these games has come close to the quality or intrigue of Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer or Transworld Surf, released in 2002 and 2001 respectively.
But today, a handsome Italian boy and a revered (also Italian) fashion brand attempted to change that.
We present to you: Gucci Surf with Leo Fioravanti!
Here's a breakdown:
You are Leo Fioravanti. Considering the current zeitgeist, it seems odd that there isn't an option to surf as a character other than Leo—specifically one of a different race or gender. But for reasons that probably have more to do with budget than bigotry, a white, blonde male seems to be the only option in Gucci Surf. I guess you can think of the character as gay, if it helps?
You can, however, choose your surfboard, sunglasses, and apparel. There are three surfboards in this game, but the two "cool" ones (including a stickered-up Leo board and iridescent Pyzel Ghost) must be earned through in-game achievements. There are also three pairs of sunglasses (all Gucci) available to choose from, and as far as apparel goes, you can pick between two pairs of boardies and one turquoise 3/2.
The goal is to get as many points as possible. Like everything in life, except golf and driving!
You get points by "picking up trash" and nailing sick trix. The game works like this: you're basically on a treadmill (which is the wave) that sends both "good" and "bad" icons your way—you want your avatar (Leo) to run into the "good" icons and avoid the "bad" icons, using the arrow keys as directional motors. If you run into too many "bad" icons, you die.
Ironically, the "good" icons in this game are pieces of trash, which you earn points for "picking them up" (by running them over). The "bad" pieces are various types of sea creatures, which you're meant to avoid as not to "disturb" them.
Despite its racial and gender gaffes, the game is clearly woke.
The other way of earning points is by performing any combination of the three available maneuvers, which are achieved by using the 'A', 'S', and 'D' keys. In general surfing terms, these maneuvers would be considered an aborted grab-rail bottom turn, a kickflip, and carving 360.
In my first attempt at Gucci Surf, I finished with 665 points. Second try, 550. Third try, I figured out that tricks were the key to success and locked in 1,330 points, securing myself Leo's "cool" board.
Playing the game the way it was meant to be played, the best I scored was 2,170 points. Then, about six minutes in, I figured out The Hack.
The way the game works, all the icons ("good" and "bad") move from right to left across the screen, with a tendency to start low and end high. The carving 360, as a "maneuver" within the game, brings your player up the screen from his original position. When pairing this knowledge, I realized that if I put my Leo in the top right corner of the screen and held down the 'D' key, he would both avoid all the "bad" icons (which ultimately end your run) and net points for each 360 completed.
When I did this, I realized that I couldn't lose, and my score kept going up. At one point, the icons ("good" and "bad") stopped coming altogether, meaning I was free to maneuver across an empty wave as I pleased (see above for evidence).
There's no "high score" feature on Gucci Surf, but if there was, I would undoubtedly be number one, now and forever. So that's the story of how I became the king of web surfing one lazy afternoon in June.
Also, if it wasn't subtextually clear, KSPS and TWS still reign supreme.
Still love you though, Leo.