Revealed: Kelly Slater’s Recipe For Eternal Youth
“Did my intestine just come out of my body?”
To watch SITD X starring Kelly Slater, click here.
Kelly Slater.
Kel.
Slates.
Kel Slates.
He is surfing’s gravitational centre, the sun around which the surf universe spins, and probably will long after he’s off this mortal coil. But if the Ultimate Human Podcast is anything to go by, that won’t be happening anytime soon.
A few days ago, Kel sat down with Gary Brecka, host of the Ultimate Human Podcast, to share the secrets behind his absurdly enduring career. His longevity, ranging from psychedelics to rebalancing with Motha Gaia, to a diet regimen that includes water fasting and master cleanses to evict mucoid plaque from the body.
For the uninitiated in the world of bodily purification, mucoid plaque refers to a supposed buildup of a thick, rubbery substance that lines the intestines, often described as a mixture of mucus, toxins, and waste. Kel’s first revelatory release came at a service station pit stop on the highway after a week without eating.
Alongside revelations about his diet, Slater reflected on the rivalries that have defined his career, the inherent difficulties of judging surfing, and what kept him in the game for decades.
The interview’s a bit of a slog at times, with Brecka a little out of his depth talking surf but doing his darndest not to sound like it. Still, Kel delivers a handful of fabulous lines that make the whole thing worth it. Some examples below:
“I am an addict. I just got addicted to something healthy.” (Trainspotting quote?)
“You could probably have mistaken me for being half-black when I was a kid.”
“I grew up on Oreos and Doritos, ice cream, cupcakes. Started from the bottom, now we here.”
“Nobody dies from old age. You die from a deficiency in something.”
And the grand finale (spoiler warning):
Host: “What does it mean to you, to be an ultimate human?”
Kel: “I think it means finding your purpose in life, and living up to your potential… And taking all of your special sauce and putting it in the right place to help people, and help the world.”
Host: “Wow.”
Listen/watch above.









Comments
Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.
Already a member? Sign In
Want to join? Sign Up