Revealed: Kelly Slater’s Recipe For Eternal Youth - Stab Mag
2563 Views

Revealed: Kelly Slater’s Recipe For Eternal Youth

“Did my intestine just come out of my body?”

news // Jan 18, 2026
Words by Jack O'Neill Paterson
Reading Time: 2 minutes

To watch SITD X starring Kelly Slater, click here. 

Kelly Slater.

Kel.

Slates.

Kel Slates.

He is surfing’s gravitational centre, the sun around which the surf universe spins, and probably will long after he’s off this mortal coil. But if the Ultimate Human Podcast is anything to go by, that won’t be happening anytime soon.

A few days ago, Kel sat down with Gary Brecka, host of the Ultimate Human Podcast, to share the secrets behind his absurdly enduring career. His longevity, ranging from psychedelics to rebalancing with Motha Gaia, to a diet regimen that includes water fasting and master cleanses to evict mucoid plaque from the body. 

For the uninitiated in the world of bodily purification, mucoid plaque refers to a supposed buildup of a thick, rubbery substance that lines the intestines, often described as a mixture of mucus, toxins, and waste. Kel’s first revelatory release came at a service station pit stop on the highway after a week without eating.  

Alongside revelations about his diet, Slater reflected on the rivalries that have defined his career, the inherent difficulties of judging surfing, and what kept him in the game for decades. 

The interview’s a bit of a slog at times, with Brecka a little out of his depth talking surf but doing his darndest not to sound like it. Still, Kel delivers a handful of fabulous lines that make the whole thing worth it. Some examples below:

“I am an addict. I just got addicted to something healthy.” (Trainspotting quote?)

“You could probably have mistaken me for being half-black when I was a kid.”

“I grew up on Oreos and Doritos, ice cream, cupcakes. Started from the bottom, now we here.”

“Nobody dies from old age. You die from a deficiency in something.”

And the grand finale (spoiler warning):

Host: “What does it mean to you, to be an ultimate human?”

Kel: “I think it means finding your purpose in life, and living up to your potential… And taking all of your special sauce and putting it in the right place to help people, and help the world.”

Host: “Wow.”

Listen/watch above.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Do Second Impressions Ever Last?

A preview of the Margaret River Pro, 2026.

Apr 15, 2026

SEOTY: Josh Burke Stars In ‘Real Estate’

Why we should pay more attention to the Caribbean.

Apr 13, 2026

Gabriela Bryan And Miguel Pupo Ding The ‘Pop

And the reigning world champs get knocked down a peg.

Apr 11, 2026

Have High-Performance Surfboards Already Peaked? | StabMic Episode 09

Britt Merrick + Dane Reynolds on Medina’s CI stint, Slater, Ewing, and the ceiling of…

Apr 10, 2026

A Day In The Life Of A Surf Shop  

One solar day in the strange, sacred, wax-scented world of the surf shop.

Apr 9, 2026

How Do You Score An Impossible Air?

Italo v Gab was the title fight, but the rest of Day 5 delivered as…

Apr 9, 2026

Fourteen Heats, One Questionable Interference, And A Few Steps Closer To Tinnitus

Rip Curl Pro Bells: How is this Day 4 already?

Apr 8, 2026

Watch: Episode 01 of Stab in the Dark starring Ethan Ewing

The reigning champ vs 3x SITD winner vs an Indonesian-based wildcard.

Apr 7, 2026

Stab High x Monster Energy Is Coming To Virginia Beach, USA

Premium members get first access to tickets.

Apr 6, 2026

Griff Goes Futuristic To Beat The New Kid

The greatest wildcard loss in WSL history?

Apr 5, 2026

Watch: The Kelly Files, Vol. 3

"I'll surf until I die."

Apr 5, 2026

Mongrels Prevail In The Slop

A day of upsets, triumphant rookies, and solid showings from just a couple of returning…

Apr 4, 2026

A Half-Cooked Homecoming

The 2026 season starts with a whimper — four instant heats run in dribbly, onshore…

Apr 3, 2026

Joyride: The Slater x Tomo ‘Mindcraft’

A 5-fin snub-nosed space missile, as seen in Mikey February's EAST.

Apr 3, 2026

Watch: John Florence Wrangles Unseen Rock Shelves Just North Of Antarctica

‘VELA’ isn’t just about warm water reef passes…

Apr 3, 2026

Dane Reynolds On Shaper Polyamory, Tour Politics + The Aussie Treble | StabMic Episode 8

The OG cast digs into the WSL season opener.

Apr 2, 2026

What Is The CT Riding In 2026? An Exhaustive Equipment Breakdown

Two brands own 40% of the tour, two World Champs refuse to be pinned down.

Apr 2, 2026

Steam On Mirrors, Slater Milked Dry, And Europe Gets It In Every Hole

Surfing’s 2026 Q1 Report

Apr 1, 2026
Advertisement