Gossip Girl: Sponsor chatter and other surf rumblings

Socrates said that powerful minds discuss ideas, sub-par minds discuss events, but feeble minds discuss people. Or, words to that effect. But ol’ Socs kicked the can yonks ago, and he knows nothing of the information-saturated wonderland in which we live! So without further ado, let us tap the wires of the whisper train that comes ever chugging through the Stab station. Joshua Kerr‘s been spinning in the air for Rusty since 2006, collecting airshow cheques and cashing them straight at the bar. He signed in November before his 2007 debut on tour and had banked two Air Championship Titles before he was 20. The BRW listed Kerrzy as the 42nd highest paid sportsperson in Australia, on $1.5 million. Where this info’s from is hazy, and they listed one of his sponsors as ‘arnett’ so it’s hard to take this figure as gospel. But we can’t help but feel a sadness when a pro surfer parts with their long-term sponsor. So when whispers of Kerrzy ditching the R by December came our way, we had to prove or debunk. Thankfully, he signed a 10-year deal so his contract isn’t up until the end of 2016, and intel from Rusty is his signature’s safe with them. Luke Davis has extended his partnership with Reef until the end of 2018. The Californian darling, 22 and fabulous, has been the anchor for Reef’s youth revival, and with recent signings Mitch Crews and Evan Geiselman the brand’s fitting the space real nice. Davis still pulls on the jersey from time-to-time. He’s still got the competitive burn and won a Q-event in Mexico last year. But win or lose, Reef are happy paying his cheques because tour isn’t where they’re positioning him. It’s lifestyle, yo! And man, he wins that heat every time. There’s sponsorship news in the younger ranks, kids who’s decisions now will matter in three-to-five years when they’re mainstays. Parker Coffin, younger bro of Conner, replaces his Arnette stickers with a fresh Von Zipper sponsorship deal. Kid’s got big promise and we’re hearing it’ll be close to a $2.5k/month earn. Kai Hing, Sunshine Coast’s next, will be wheeling with the acid green M on his boards after recently signing with Monster. Jules does a lot of time in the sun. A cream sponsor makes sense. Photo: Woody Gooch Julian Wilson has a sunscreen sponsor! Guaranteeing his mocha skin tone stays as creamy as ever, Sun Bum have managed to get their gorilla head logo on Jules’ craft. Last winter in Hawaii, the Florida-based company dropped a metre-high merchandise stand with their entire product range off to the Target House at Off the Wall. It’s a pretty simple strategy that a lot of start-ups do. What better way to get traction in the surf market than if surfers like Kolohe Andino or Carissa Moore are using, and conveniently photographed with, your products? For Free. But the Sunshine Coast sun isn’t something you scoff at and Julian spotted a mutually beneficial opportunity for a $3k a month earn. “Swallowed a watermelon seed 15 weeks ago and we’re pretty excited about it @tajamos” Taj Burrow‘s having a baby! Well, he’s not, but his partner Rebecca Jobson is. Ah, Vance and Nance must be beaming! Teebs will miss the European leg of tour for the birth. If you find yourself pitying TB for not winning a world title slap yourself in the face right now. His affluent Yallingup nest is fluffed and ready, his vault is stocked full of Lira, and he’s got a beautifully blended Filipino/European bub on the way. From one power couple to another, Sage Erickson and Bryce Young are an item. And this one’s a real rocketship. The all-American gal and the closest thing Australia has to surf royalty, being son of the Nat Young. The couple were recently spied canoodling their way around Bryce’s native Angourie, riding alternative surfing crafts and holding hands. Young, fit, tanned bodies, sun kissed hair… hooray for the contraceptive pill and pre-marital copulation! They’re not the only ones hooked on the love drug either. Mitch Crews and Kelia “Sister” Moniz are officially a thing, right now on a road trip to San Francisco in a Leprechaun RV. Make of that what you will. And because nothing in surfing really doesn’t not make sense, Lakey Peterson‘s granddad invented the Egg McMuffin. McDonalds and professional athletes go together like Chris Brown and Rihanna, but jeez, it doesn’t stop them from trying to form precious relationships with the physical adonis. The rumour that Usain Bolt ate nothing but Chicken McNuggets (from his autobiography Faster than Lightning) at the Beijing Olympics smells like a Filet-O-Fish with a side of backhander bills! But this we can confirm, the Peterson’s have owned McDonalds franchises in California for three generations since Herb Peterson made breakfast in a handful. While the restaurant chain in the Central Coast California silently sponsors Lakey, we can only assume that she keeps the pre-surf McMuffins and post-surf Cheese Burgers to a minimum. Craig Anderson will be a keynote speaker at Semi-Permanent. SP is an arts and design conference with events in Oz, NZ, USA, UK, China and Sweden where overachievers tell their stories of cashed-up success. Ando will be on stage with shaper Hayden Cox and NY-based artist Jason Woodside, talking design influences and how their worlds overlap. Craig will talk aesthetics, but probably not huge slobs, at Semi-Permanent. Sequence: John Respondek