Extreme Australianism: Man Wrestles Shark To Death To Save His Own Skin

In the wildest self-defence case since Mick Fanning’s J-Bay ordeal, a man has reportedly manhandled a bull shark to death after it jumped him in the water at Lennox Head yesterday.

According to reports the incident happened about 7am yesterday morning at the NSW North Coast fabled point break. Matthew Lee was enjoying an ANZAC Day public holiday session when the shark popped up, giving him an aggressive bump before he went fight over flight and retaliated.

Mr Lee told The Daily Telegraph that after the first punch was thrown he “grabbed the bloody thing,” wrangling it onto the rocks and taking its life in the process.

He reported to the Northern Star that during the incident, he was acting on pure instinct. 

“Thinking about it now it seems the stupidest thing to grab it, but at the time I thought if I grab it, I know exactly where its mouth is.”

Now, in light of recent shark hysteria, and to calm the nerves of any paranoid professional or amateur wave riders, Stab writer, Sir Brendan Buckley, developed a handbook of sorts on surviving an attack from the apex predators. However, after hearing Mr Lee’s WWE-inspired approach, it may require an addition.