Stab Magazine | Everyone loves John and Sage #2015SurferPoll
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Everyone loves John and Sage #2015SurferPoll

Words by Jake Howard Surfer Poll, North Shore, Oahu. It’s Sunday night and after a day of apocalyptic surfing everyone’s nerves seem a little frayed. The free, sugary margaritas only slightly dull the worried anxiety. Evan Geiselman’s still on everyone’s mind. He got smashed at Pipe this morning, and it goes without saying that thoughts […]

news // Mar 8, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Words by Jake Howard

Surfer Poll, North Shore, Oahu. It’s Sunday night and after a day of apocalyptic surfing everyone’s nerves seem a little frayed. The free, sugary margaritas only slightly dull the worried anxiety. Evan Geiselman’s still on everyone’s mind. He got smashed at Pipe this morning, and it goes without saying that thoughts and prayers are with the kid tonight. Thankfully he’s going to be okay, but as Evan’s brother Eric reminds us, “We need to remember to respect Mother Nature and be mindful of the decisions we make.”

Before the show starts Sage Erickson has butterflies in her scrumptious little tummy. She’s presenting an award, and while she looks absolutely ravishing in a sheer black number, she’s worried she’s going to forget her lines.

“I’ve gone over them a hundred times,” she stammers.

When last we see her she’s still running through her script…and we assure her that she’ll do just fine, everyone loves Sage.

Her boyfriend, Bryce Young, son of the indelible Nat Young, is running a little late. He’s been unavoidably detained drinking XX micro brew with best mate Ryan Burch. Somewhere along the way Burch, who’s a nominee for Performance of the Year from “Psychic Migrations,” has his sandals stolen. He opts to attend the awards barefoot.

“It’s a silent protest,” he says.

In the lobby of the Turtle Bay it’s obvious that the females take this thing a lot more serious than the males. Sage, Alana, Coco, Steph, Carissa, they’re all dressed to the nines. There’s some serious time and energy put into the outfits, hair and make-up. The guys, not so much. John Florence, the man of the hour, strolls in looking like a JCPenny’s mannequin dressed him. For as much style as he has in the water, the white shirt/black tie/skate shoe combo has him looking more ready for a winter formal date than a Surfer Poll victory, but it’s John’s world and we’re all just living in it. He beats Kelly Slater for the second year in a row and like Sage everyone loves him.

Sunny Garcia’s working through a little case of stage fright, like Sage. He’s emceeing the night and thanks all the right people before admitting, “I’m pretty nervous.” He saves himself with tributes to all those that valiantly charged Jaws today and the heroic rescuers of Evan.

The night’s a who’s who of surf celebrity. Bro shakes flow like the salmon of Capistrano. Hipster fucks and jock dorks come together to celebrate the tribe… or something like that. Speeches are given, drink tickets are $10 apiece, and Noa Deane contains himself. For awhile the bar closes while Mauri dancers demonstrate their version of the Haka; it’s weird, but the North Shore is weird. But just like Sage and John, everyone loves it.

2015 SURFER Poll Results:

Men’s Poll Winners:
#1 – John Florence
#2 – Kelly Slater
#3 – Mick Fanning
#4 – Julian Wilson
#5 – Gabriel Medina
#6 – Owen Wright
#7 – Dane Reynolds
#8 – Filipe Toledo
#9 – Kolohe Andino
#10 – Joel Parkinson

Women’s Poll Winners:
#1 – Carissa Moore
#2 – Sally Fitzgibbons
#3 – Coco Ho
#4 – Stephanie Gilmore
#5 – Alana Blanchard

Movie of the Year: View From A Blue Moon (Blake Kueny and John Florence)
Best Performance: John Florence, View From A Blue Moon
Best Short: Sampler (Marine Layer)
Best Documentary: The Fisherman’s Son (Chris Malloy)
Best Web Series: #Tournotes (Peter King)
Worst Wipeout: Niccolo Porcella, Teahupo’o
Best Barrel: Nathan Florence, Teahupoo
Best Maneuver: John Florence, View From A Blue Moon
Heavy Water: Jamie Mitchell
Agent of Change: North Shore Land Trust
A.I. Breakthrough Performance: Filipe Toledo

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