COTM: Whose Hat Is It Anyway?

Perspective matters.

Take this statement:

I had a good August. I got engaged, I adopted some kittens, and I caught up with an old surf buddy from college.

Nice, but awfully boring. 

Let’s repeat that same statement, but as my 4am sleep paralysis demon:

I had a terrible August. I spent all the money in my checking account, a feral idiot named “Paulie Walnuts” assaulted my testicles, and I personally know the guy who ultrasounds balls at my local ER. 

Now that’s a fun one to share at the dinner table. Good to see ya Moose, let’s hang again soon, but hopefully in a setting that doesn’t require me to put a hand towel over my penis.

Keeping perspective in mind, here’s August’s winner:

Haz EAST, Ep 1. 150+ comments in 24 hours. Guns drawn, some at the Haz man, some at the fin rule book of a sovereign citizen’s experiment, and the remaining at each other.

Seriously, that’s a lot of dudes simultaneously having their man-period in a Disqus chamber. As leader of the sewer people I felt uneasy. I too participated in some degree of blonde mop slander, but alas we were saved.

As we all turned on each other, Mr. Litmus kept focus and identified the true threat to the kingdom. We let petty grievances cloud our vision, and those hats of mass destruction almost snuck by unscathed. Excellent work sir, I also thoroughly enjoyed the follow up “thruster” comment. 

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Honorable mention:

Strange times indeed. I think we’re all craving more Zeke Lau after this year’s Surf100 Challenge series. I’m not one for participation trophies, but may I suggest giving Mr. Lau a goodie bag of EAST/SITD  leftovers to take home?

Let him unfasten some fin boxes around the North Shore, show us a little disorganized sizzle reel to keep warm this winter. As a trusted political puppet I have no jurisdiction to even suggest such a project, but I’d be inclined to purchase more conspicuous yellow cans upon delivery.

One more for good measure:

August is no more. If you need me I’ll be icing my groin and deleting “Tom of Finland” from my search engine history.

Namaste,

Chedds