Brave And/Or Visionary Man To Open Surf Shop In Lemoore

Big news from the devil’s armpit. 

One brave man has stepped up and decided to open a surf shop in Lemoore, California – three hours away from the nearest (natural) surf spot.

Before we jump into speculation, let’s hear more about the man, who you can call Tim, from The Sentinel:

A local business owner, with the help of Lemoore city officials, is working to fix the state of business downtown.

Tim Welsh, the owner of Tactical Tattoo and a Lemoore resident, is planning to bring a store with surf, skate and other beach sports equipment and apparel to the downtown.

Welsh said that when he was growing up the skate park in Lemoore was just being built. Now he is working to put a shop for skaters and beach-goers across the street from the park in the former Cottontail Jones location.

If all goes well, Welsh said he plans to open the shop in November.

Welsh said that residents currently don’t have a good option to buy beach-friendly or skate-friendly items in Lemoore.

“I ran into this problem when I was heading to the Surf Ranch; I wanted a nice sun hat and the only quick option was Kmart,” Welsh said.

He wants to bring brands like AZHIAZIAM and Vans to residents so they can have more options when it comes to shopping in Lemoore.

Whatever AZHIZAMZIAMI is aside, this Tim fella has perhaps tapped into California’s last gold mine. 

With the recent revelation that the KSWC site will be greatly expanded, including the construction of two new pools for public use, it’s almost impossible that Lemoore will not become a surfing hotbed. And because there’s no other surf shop for (probably) hundreds of miles, Tim’s shop will have a total monopoly of the local market, allowing him to charge upwards of $40 for a block of Sex Wax etc.

On top of that Tim’s brand will explode in roughly ten years, as the best local groms pimp his store on their pool-specific sticks, giving Welsh’s Wavery (or whatever he decides to call it) a huge promotional boost across the 2028 wave pool circuit.  

This is a genius business venture and if it weren’t for Lemoore’s insufferable heat/stench combo plus the fact that we’d almost never be able to surf, Stab would have opened its very own store there weeks ago. 

Best of luck to Tim and we can’t wait to visit his little joint come this November.