British Man Sleeps In Board Bag As Penance For Fraudulent Giveaway Win
Catfish x 2.
Unfortunately, my Db x Stab board bag review must start with a confession. It seems Ethan has been played for a fool by two winners of this comp. Upon hearing of the DB x STAB giveaway on ‘The Drop’ podcast I scrambled to find my plane tickets. I’m off on a longer trip to Portugal in June and desperately needed a bag to protect my boards from budget airline baggage handlers. With the help of the inspect element tool and a check of the dates needed to travel to win the giveaway, my entry email to Ethan was sent. A few sleepless nights later (guilt over excitement), Ethan let me know I had won. Surprising as my travel story was average – perhaps I’m the only STAB premium member in the UK… – Nathan Holden
Originally, my plan on ‘getting-away’ with this fraud followed a traditional three act structure:
- Act 1 – fraudulently receive fancy Nordic surf luggage (Check).
- Act 2 – write review, mocking up the Northumberland coast of England as the Algarve for a photoshoot. (Foiled by continual lack of sun – see photos 1 & 2).
- Act 3 – submit surf sin to the high priest revealing my elaborate ruse (now pointless). Unfortunately for myself, Damon Hayes is a fast writer and considerably more eloquent and has ruined my three-act play of the STAB team.
So In an effort to be original, I gave myself a penance; spend a night within the confines of the Djarv board bag and product test the board to the best of my abilities.
My sleeping set up was simple, as pictured below (Pic 3). I pitched up in a garden and with the help of a Jed Smith golden cone piece I was away to sleep. The bag, although pricey, is well worth the cash. It doubles as a bed around the same size as a Portuguese budget hostel single bunk. Therefore around 2 weeks’ worth of very warm nights alone and the board bag pays for itself.
Durability was assessed through my flatmate zipping me into the bag and pushing me down the stairs. The ribbing (for my pleasure) throughout the bag removed any impact force. To simulate baggage handlers’ Laissez-faire approach to surf luggage – one which has claimed a prized board from myself before – I loaded the bag with 3 boards, from 6”3 to 5”8 and dropped it from my first-floor flat window. Voila, no damage to the boards. Furthermore, the side handle is easily removable, meaning that the bag must be picked up as opposed to swung, a very neat feature.
A bonus with this bag is the ability to stuff towels, rashies, tee-shirts etc… into the removable stuff pockets located at the nose and tail of the boards. Furthermore, there is plenty of space if only two boards are packed to add all the clothing necessary to do away with a suitcase for a trip and reduce the checked baggage fee at the airport (Pic 3). Packing and unpacking of boards is easy with the zip design allowing for the entirety of the top to be removed, there’s a decent sized pocket for fins, wax etc.. and a hidden zip compartment by the wheels.
When I am not sleeping in my board bag, the bag compresses, and clips into a cylinder around the size of a stool for easy storage. If I had the cash, I would make use of the clip together tech which DB has added to its luggage range, which allows for the board bag and additional backpacks, suitcases etc to be pulled by one hand.
However, I only received the coffin bag – no sock or tote – I suppose karma works in mysterious ways. Perhaps this is an incredible bit of marketing from DB – as I am now saving up my hard earned surf instructor cash (level 1 ISA coaching award warrior) to buy the missing products.
My only criticism is that personally I would want over-the-top horrific stab logos all over to lord my luxury surf luggage over my friends. The branding is subtle and tasteful, a few small gold dots and the Stab logo within the bag (pic 4). One word of advice, if you plan to travel with a stubby small wave groveller, the width of the board may impact being able to fit 4 boards into the bag. I hope I am not blacklisted from the STAB site, as this bag alone is worth a bit over 4 years of STAB premium subscriptions. Cheers fellas, Nathan
How John John Lost To A Surfer From Germany
The underdogs are barking: here's what's happened at the 2023 ISA World Games thus far.
SEOTY: This German-Born, Spanish-Speaking Ubermensch’s Clip Is For The Every-mensch
Watch Leon Glatzer make the ocean his Autobahn in "Águila".
“We Woke Up And A Bear Had Chewed A Wetsuit To Bits”
Didn't know there were so many slabs in Canada, eh?
2023 ISA World Games Preview: Olympic Ballyhoo With 4 New Countries Competing
And why El Salvador’s President says that surfing is “one of the pillars” of the…
WSL CEO Erik Logan Responds To ‘Unfair Judging’ Claims In Open Letter
“It is a breach of league policy, for surfers to choose not to engage with…
‘Vertentes’ Is 16-Minutes Of Seamless Surfing And Self-Animated Artisanship
Time off tour has done nothing but good for Tomas Hermes.
The Man Who Tortures Surfboards For Science
Here's what Dr. Luca Oggiano and Donald Brink think surfboard manufacturers are getting wrong.
Gabriel Medina Gives Scathing Review Of WSL Judging After Controversial Surf Ranch Final
‘The surf community has been mesmerized by the poor clarity and consistency of judging for…
Griffin Colapinto And Carissa Moore Lift Lumber At Groundhog Day Rodeo
"There's so much in your control that you almost overthink things."
Stab In The Dark With Italo Ferreira, Episode 4
And the shaper behind 2023’s best high-performance shortboard is…
Your Loss, Tahiti’s Win
Betonline.AG are donating 100% of their earnings (your losses) from Lemoore towards Tahitian flood victims.
The Surf Ranch Pro Preview: 2% Wildcards, Sudden-Death Duels, And Game Theory
Same swamp, (slightly) different rodeo.
Exclusive: Stab Speaks With El Niño
"I’m just focusing on staying potent, moist and warm. I’m not really thinking that far…
Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.
Already a member? Sign In
Want to join? Sign Up