Let’s chat about sex: surf vs skate

Words by Morgan Williamson  This next excerpt’s for the sake of sin and soul. Some gals we shamelessly, helplessly and occasionally adore with a certain controlled madness. Distant loves that protrude from the sea as an iceberg cracking paradises’ warm exterior. Sun and sand-kissed skin and lips clumsily scrolled through on social media with less rust and more stardust. The more we look from a far the madder we go with tenderness. It’s a strange time we live in, this immediacy and interconnectivity laced with absolute distance. The ability to gaze briefly into the live’s of those never met’s a socially accepted yet curious norm. There’s a couple of muses who happen to know how to efficiently work fins, foam and light up the space between shutter and lens. In this conceited surf world we are curious by definition how us surfers compare to our skateboarding counterparts in the sexual nature. So I asked the lovely miss Anastasia Ashley and the just as lovely miss Ivy Miller a few playful questions on the subject. Miss Ashley for Sports Illustrated. Photo: Sports Illustrated First, Anastasia who’s name rolls off the tongue in a delectable four syllables. We start off stylistically; “skaters are definitely more fashionable,” Ashley tells me. “They’re really into their shoes and like leather jackets. They just seem a bit more put together than surfers. They have a different feel to them.” We carry to what allures our dear friend. “Personally I’m more attracted to skaters,” she says. “Surfers typically have better bodies and are a bit healthier but skaters have this swagger and style about them that I can really get into. Surfers tend to just roll out of bed, in general they don’t pay as much attention to their appearance.” Heart strings are strumming with moral panic. Photo: Terry Richardson We dive into the driving topic of this shameless conversation; who between skaters and surfers find themselves slipping into lustful tumbles most often? “They’re probably pretty equal in the amount of sex they have, I don’t really see why one would get more than the next. They both have girls attracted to them for different reasons.” But who’s better in bed? “Hmm,” Anastasia sighs and pauses for a sweet second. “Probably skaters, I think they’re more bad boys in the skate world.” Ivy you sweet thing. Photo: KC Hartsock And now a similar conversation with the adorable miss Miller. “Skaters have better style,” she starts. “Surfers are usually in their little sponsor outfits. Just T-shirts and boardshorts. Skaters are much more grunge, I like that about them.” We advance into Ivy’s personal laws of attraction, “Skaters are more attractive, they’re more humble. It’s just a different world and community, I’m drawn to it.” We continue into the topic of the hour; who has more sex, “I think there’s fan girls for each category… maybe surfers, they clean up better.” I ask our dear Ivy who performs better between the sheets, “Oh my god,” she laughs in pleasant harmony. “Probably surfers, they’re more cocky. They’d be generally better in bed. I feel like since skaters are more reserved and humble they’d be like ‘well you go…’ in kind of a choked up way; ‘you go first” she giggles. “Yeah surfers are better in bed.”