GQ rates the Hottest Surfer Babes Alive

Gentleman’s Quarterly is an institution, and evidently their tastes aren’t dissimilar from ours: They, too, adore surfer ‘babes.’ We love it when these lists come bounding from google alerts. It’s a wonderful excuse for a bit of escapism in the form of insta-palm trees, and salt water delicately dripping off taiwanese-made swimwear. However, it’s hard not to be underwhelmed with the presentation in the latest listicle from one of the most prestigious names in men’s publishing. It certainly doesn’t follow suit from the latest two issues of GQ Australia‘s print edition, which have been utterly charming. We’ve stolen their list, spent approximately twice the time pilfering pictures from the ladies’ Instagrams, and here it is. The GQ ‘Hottest surfer babes alive, in the world right now, ever.’ *The order below is GQ’s, not ours. 1. Anastasia Ashley ‘Hot’ is a ghastly way to describe a female. And, it’s also highly subjective. A more appropriate title for Miss Ashley is ‘most prolific producer of racy surf bawdiness.’ And there’s nothing wrong with that. It takes all sorts to make this mad world revolve. Miss Ashley sure makes us spin our screens to share every upload with the class. 2. Alessa Quizon Maybe it’s the direly monoracial nature of the Stab office (a thick head of Greek hair, and an eleven syllable surname is all we got!) but nothing gets us dreaming of foreign shores like a dark mocha blend. Imagine how Captain Cooky and his crew of scurvy must’ve felt rowing their testosterone-filled boat ashore for the first time! Phew. 3. Malia Manuel Yet another of the Hawaiian surf goddesses on a list entrenched with dark-skinned, dark-haired, dark-eyed beauties. Stab recently shot Malia for the pages of issue 81, and it was nothing if not a certified success. Stay tuned fans of the aesthetically pleasing. 4. Kelia Moniz Kelia Moniz is pretty much the most fabulous thing in women’s surfing right now. She steers a log with the grace of a swan, takes on Teahupoo with reckless aplomb, and then sculls a beer in the channel before swearing like a builder whilst getting ‘limed.’ Bravo Princess. 5. Coco Ho I once interviewed Coco Ho in the top floor apartment of a Gold Coast high-rise. She was every bit as delightful as you’d imagine. Pops was hanging out supine on the couch, and gifted me a much-appreciated ‘shaka.’ Coco’s place on GQ‘s prestigious list is truly valid for bubbliness alone. The sunniest smile in surfing will always hold a place in our hearts. 6. Lakey Peterson   Laura Louise ‘Lakey’ Peterson is a lovely Christian girl from Santa Barbara. She is currently ranked fourth on the women’s WSL, and is a known philanthropist as a board member of the Ocean Lovers Collective and a spokeswoman for the SCA (Student Conservation Association) and that’s just lovely. 7. Laura Crane Quintessential English beauty is surely as fitting a description as any for Laura Crane from Croyde, North Devon. The young maiden is in the process of carving her name into the surfer/model tree, and by the looks of things having a marvellous time in the process. Taking advantage of your genetic blessings to further your career and surf more, is something only mocked by the envious. Fly my pretty, fly. 8. Sage Erickson Bias is something that must be avoided at all costs in the media world. It’s unethical. However, it would be farcical to deny that we’re more than slightly fond of Sage Erickson. GQ didn’t specify whether their somewhat half-baked list was in order, but Sage’d certainly be hovering near the top of ours. The fact that she remains in the WSL women’s elite, and without a major sponsor, remains one of the great mysteries of the surf world. Still, with a countenance like Sage’s, she doesn’t have to worry, she’ll be just fine. 9. Chloe Chapman Aloe Swimwear owner and part time model/full time instababe Chloe Chapman doesn’t surf. But that’s ok. Presumably her inclusion on this list comes as a result of having a pro surfer brother, and an ex-pro surfer boyfriend. Still, it gave us an excuse to trawl her gram on the desktop for a hot minute, and for that we’re entirely grateful.