“To The Outside World, I Was Living The Dream. Inside, I Was Questioning It All” - Stab Mag
2202 Views

“To The Outside World, I Was Living The Dream. Inside, I Was Questioning It All”

Brett Barley shares a quietly brutal account of burnout and belief in his new film “Ambivalent.”

elsewhere // Apr 30, 2025
Words by Jack O'Neill Paterson
Reading Time: 2 minutes

“I turned the joy of riding waves into a numbers game — clicks and views, performance and accomplishment. I couldn’t surf for fun anymore.”

It’s a familiar pattern. From a distance, the dream looks intact — especially to anyone staring down an afternoon of emails and fluorescent light. But inside the bubble: disillusionment. 

Brett Barley had enviable employment, and he knew it. Which only made it worse. The guilt of not loving it anymore. The awkward shame of being deeply sad while doing something most people would trade their life for. Add a pressure to provide, a dash of unrewarded vulnerability, and you’ve got the recipe: burnout, tied with a bow and served with a smile.

“I kept telling myself I shouldn’t feel lost and sad, but I did. I felt like a liar — making videos full of joy while editing them in sorrow. If I didn’t love it anymore, why was I breaking myself to keep doing it?”

Turns out, being on the clock all the time — even when you “love what you do”— isn’t great for mental health. Especially when your livelihood is tied to algorithms, feedback loops, and an audience that expects joy on demand. The film doesn’t over-explain it, but there’s a thread running through: questions about masculinity, self-worth, and the invisible pressure to hold it all together when money’s tight and eyes are watching.

It took Brett turning the cameras off completely — chasing a swell to Skeleton Bay without a crew, without the pressure to film, without the looming obligation to “make content.” Something he hadn’t done in close to a decade. Just a surf trip, for surfing’s sake. A radical act.

“It took showing up to the beach without a camera to find joy again. At home, I stopped zoning out. Stopped obsessing over edits and metrics and meaningless dopamine hits.”

Yes, the film leans heavily on scripture. Barley’s escape hatch was faith — which might land sideways if Bible verses aren’t usually your thing. If that’s not your lane, skip over em’ and stay for the surfing. 

Getting out of a dark place is rarely graceful. People reach for whatever’s in arm’s length — God, therapy, a hut in the woods, a carefully calibrated cocktail of pharmaceuticals. The method matters less than the momentum. Whatever floats your boat, or saves your life. 

The point is: he made it out. And that, at the very least, deserves a few medium-to-firm pats on the back.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

How Italo Ferreira Bought His Way Into Nike, The Reality Of Fatherhood, And Embracing Global Scrutiny

The Stab Interview with the most sleep-deprivedman in surfing.

Feb 13, 2026

Will A GOAT Bite On Gnaraloo’s $17 Million Price Tag?

World Champs and Hollywood circle a red-dirt kingdom that can never truly be owned.

Feb 13, 2026

Dane Reynolds On His Favorite Surfer, Storytelling Through Surf Media, And Releasing Former’s New Film

Our first official episode of StabMic is live. 

Feb 12, 2026

Watch: Episode 03 of Stab In The Dark X Starring Kelly Slater

The untold story behind the GOAT’s split from CI + a three-layer wax cake theory.

Feb 11, 2026

Why You Should Stop Watching Surf Videos*

Instagram reels and the twisted fantasy of the parasocial surfing life.

Feb 9, 2026

Breaking: Rogue Boat Plows Through Steamer Lane, Capsizes With Family Of Six Onboard

Stab writer Holden Trnka saves a kid, gives a first hand report.

Feb 8, 2026

Watch: How $13M And 70,000 Tons Of Granite Changed An Australian Surf Town Forever

A documentary on Midds Reef — the world's best artificial wave — by Rhys Jones.

Feb 7, 2026

Pipeline Was Really, Really Good Today

CT qualifications, countless nine point rides, Australian domination, and the journey of a local hero.

Feb 6, 2026

Why Chapter 11’s Doors Are Shut + Why Former’s Output Is About To Spike

Former drops teaser for upcoming feature, ‘Defect’, starring the entire frozen pea army.

Feb 5, 2026

Joyride: What’s In An Asymmetrical Surfboard?

An asymmetrical study of Lovelace's Zambal and Satellite models.

Feb 5, 2026

What Happens When The Best Surfer On Earth Leaves The Tour?

The second order effect of John John's departure.

Feb 4, 2026

Velvet Pipeline And Nine Point Faceplants

A CT qualification update from the North Shore.

Feb 3, 2026

“It’s Louder Than An Atomic Bomb. If You Were Anywhere Near It, Your Head Would Explode.”

The Southern Ocean is now open for international pillaging.

Feb 2, 2026

“They Don’t Call It The Challenger Series For Nothing”

Local excellence and universal beatdowns on Day Two of the Pipe Challenger.

Feb 1, 2026

How Billy Kemper Convinced The WSL (And The Mayor) To Have Locals In The Pipe Challenger

And more musings from the ground here on the North Shore.

Jan 31, 2026

Exclusive Interview: Why John Florence Put The CT On Indefinite Pause

"The tour has a cap. I want to find a space where everything grows bigger."

Jan 29, 2026

Is Firing Pipeline Too Much To Ask For?

The inaugural Pipeline Challenger event starts in 24 hours. And we're en route.

Jan 28, 2026

Watch: Episode 02 of Stab In The Dark X Starring Kelly Slater

Are we all ordering five fin setups now?

Jan 28, 2026
Advertisement