The Surf Gods Want More for You - Stab Mag
Surfing's holy trinity: surfer, sun and a towel with the most. All Photos: Didit Prasetyo Adiwibowo

The Surf Gods Want More for You

Slowtide & Deus ex Machina offer salvation from the sin that is your post-surf routine.

elsewhere // Jul 12, 2022
Words by Cori Stephens
Reading Time: 3 minutes

The ancient Greek phrase Deus ex Machina, loosely translated, means “god from the machine”.

Esoteric though the lexical trio may sound, it’s a highly common theatrical mechanism adopted from the Athenians, that serves as a function to resolve otherwise unsolvable plot problems. Despite its archaic roots, notable examples of the tool can be seen in some of our favorite stories of recent times. 

In The Wizard of Oz, an incalculably odd series of events leave Dorothy without a way home, and as she finds herself at the end of the once-promising yellow brick road, she simply wakes up – leaving behind all of her otherworldly (and otherwise unsolvable) troubles.

Mugatu, Munchkins, and the narrative device of divine slumber.

Also, since when can R2D2 fly? Apparently, since the 2002 American Space opera (that’s what the internet calls it) Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. Never before had the astromech had the gift of flight, and yet, in a dire moment, this is exactly the solution to save young queen Amidala before she meets a molten demise. 

There you are, Peter!

Bill and Ted, Superman, Harry Potter, and scores of other famous characters are also narrowly liberated from the grip of evil using this time-tested device. And, although I never imagined I would say this, Derek Zoolander was wrong. Wetness is not always the essence of beauty. Sometimes, it’s more like the essence of damp discomfort; Or, worse – in the case of borrowed bath towels (quickest way to feel embarrassed in a parking lot), or the back-of-the-truck blankets we’ve never washed – more like the essence of cumbersome, dank bacteria that you’re about to rub all over your body… and face.

POV: Getting into the car of someone whose towel hygiene is less-than-holy.

I mean, I guess that’s fine if you want to be really really really ridiculously bad-smelling.

Although the above examples of divine intervention are fictional (sorry, nerds), the real-life drama of bulky beach towels and their tendency to be more of a hindrance than a help, is upsettingly real. Thank Olympos that divinity intervenes in our plight, offering supernal solutions to our salty, soggy dilemmas.

Jared Mell and his shoulder angel, living a pure life in the Land of the Gods.

They want a better life for us than one involving crusty eyebrows and a bod that smells like a 24 Hour Fitness. As in our culture’s best and most suspenseful films, the hero enters in the nick of time to rescue the doomed protagonist from imminent ruin. And, fortunately for us, we have not one, but two, saviors.

Sins out, fins out. A compact quick-dry towel that leaves no room for the evil of dampness, and plenty of room in your day bag.

The original leader of the premium towel movement, Slowtide has (finally) partnered with the Australian lifestyle and gurus at – you guessed it – Deus ex Machina. Existing on the common, if not hallowed, grounds of enthusiasm for all things fun and fashionable, these paragons of surf-adjacent necessities are presently offering a limited collaborative capsule for the benefit of mankind. 

Not all heroes wear capes. Sometimes, the hero is the cape.

The 100% recycled three-towel collection includes a premium woven towel, a Turkish towel, and a packable quick-dry towel, covering all of your water removal needs and keeping your eco-conscience comfortably dry as well. Have a look and get saved from the malodorous mess that is your post-surf changing system.

Your life after Slowtide x Deus.


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