Surely, Unequivocally, The Worst Waves In The History Of Professional Surfing - Stab Mag
344 Views
Fins scraping the sand. Probably a high score.

Surely, Unequivocally, The Worst Waves In The History Of Professional Surfing

Today saw a new low at the WRV Outer Banks Pro.

elsewhere // Sep 2, 2022
Words by August Howell
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Fair or unfair, the WSL’s Qualifying Series often bears the brunt of jokes for running events in conditions most surfers would hit snooze on. 

But what happened today at the WRV Outer Banks Pro reached another level of absurdity. For nearly three hours in what looks like peak high tide and an ocean flatter than a Simon Jones board, surfers scraped the bottom of the barrel in crumbling shorebreak next to Jennette’s Pier in Nags Head, North Carolina. 

Eight heats ran on the first day of the WRV Outer Banks Pro about 10 feet from the sand. One-turn whips were literally the only thing on the menu. We’ve seen lakes look better than this QS 1,000. Hell, we’ve seen bathtub farts with more swell fetch. Kudos to commentators Mark Yonkers and Mike Beech for keeping it together in the booth. 

Pick a time, any time, and just watch.

Admittedly, It’s low-hanging fruit to snicker at this spectacle. From another perspective, it’s entertaining, even remarkable, to see how the hell surfers manufactured scores with their fins hitting the sand on the bottom turn. Given what they had to work with, who among us could do any better? You gotta credit pros like Tomas King (13.44), Malakai Martinez (13.07) and Logan Radd (10.57) for winning heats with double-digit scores. They are the real QS warriors. 

But the whole thing gave off Dave Parmenter 1988 OP Pro vibes. If you didn’t know, the man ditched his shortboard and opted to ride his log during the heat at Huntington Beach. He lost, but it was a clear gesture to how absurd it was to put a square peg in a round hole. These waves today were definitely worse.

So, have you seen worse wavs in a professional surf contest? Tell us a tale, and send pix for proof.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

“It’s A Gene Pool Of Cool, But It Comes With Every Bag Of Shit That Goes With It”

There’s a new documentary on the Fletchers you’ll probably want to watch.

Nov 23, 2025

Ikea Is Not A Surf Brand

Is surfing facing a ChatGPT epidemic?

Nov 21, 2025

EAST With Mikey February, Episode Three

Task: Find bluewater barrels in the USA... in summertime.

Nov 21, 2025

Did You Actually Think Gabby Medina Would Sit Out 2026?

The comeback tour just keeps getting bigger.

Nov 20, 2025

Yet Another World Champ Announces His Return To The 2026 World Tour

JJF is back. 

Nov 19, 2025

Steph Gilmore To Join Carissa Moore On 2026 Tour

13 World Titles rejoined the CT WhatsApp thread this past week. How will they fare?

Nov 18, 2025

A Brief History Of The Aerial ft. Bruce Irons, Christian & Nate Fletcher And More

Dylan Graves unearths the facts, the firsts, and the controversial debates shaping surfing's above the…

Nov 18, 2025

Who Has The Right To ‘Protect’ A Hidden Wave?

In surfing's new-age colonialism, everybody's right and everybody's wrong.

Nov 16, 2025

Watch Snapt 5: The Final Cut

After twenty-two years, this is Logan Dulien's biggest mic drop yet. Probably.

Nov 13, 2025

Guess Who’s Back

New mom Carissa Moore to make her Championship Tour return in 2026.

Nov 13, 2025

Where Is Our Mind?

Why we just filmed another 'Stab in the Dark'... before releasing Kelly.

Nov 12, 2025

The Greatest British Surf Conspiracy Of Our Time

Multiple bankruptcies, Russian oligarchs, environmental fugitives and a... wavepool?

Nov 9, 2025

Unlocked: Shark-Eyed Prince João Mendonça In ‘Same Same’

You won’t hear much from the young Portuguese surfer's mouth, but his SEOTY entry says…

Nov 9, 2025

“I’ve Been In Pain My Whole Life. If I’m Going To Get Hurt Surfing, So Be It.” 

Jade Morgan recounts his latest spinal injury + the art of living with a body…

Nov 9, 2025

Inside The Illegal, DIY Operation To Bring Munich’s River Wave Back

Local surfers know exactly how to fix the Eisbach, but they risk a 50k fine.

Nov 8, 2025

“Not Only Did He Beat That Frickin’ Temper-Tantrum-Throwing Goober, Thank God, But He Did It On A Board He Crafted Himself”

Joel Tudor celebrates the maiden Longboard World Title of Kai Ellice Flint.

Nov 7, 2025

EAST With Mikey February, Episode Two

Five more shapers and five eliminations at rush-hour Malibu and Trestles.

Nov 7, 2025

“I’ve Won Three World Titles, But This Is The Biggest Win Of My Career.”

The true story of how Joel Tudor brought an international airline to its knees.

Nov 6, 2025
Advertisement