October’s COTM Spat Through the Wire

I think about Bruce Irons every time I manscape.

My fingers flip a switch, the clippers buzz to life, and for a second my brain thinks its hearing the song “Hell Of A Life” by Kanye West.

You might remember the track from Bruce’s Snapt3 section. As a fan of both hip-hop and surf films, I consider this one of the few successful marriages of the two art forms. Though I doubt Kanye or Bruce envisioned this application.

Anyways, lets see October:

When asked “Do you consider yourself the best shaper?” in the series finale of Harry Bryant’s EAST, Greg Webber responded “Yeah, I know I am. Which is not an ego thing.”

A peculiar thing for a shaper to say, considering surfboard performance is subjective and there’s no real way to measure it. Perhaps the most quantitative scale would be the WSL shaper rankings, of which Matt Biolos has a clear monopoly.

Webber’s confidence level is reminiscent of an early 2000s Kanye West, who once said “My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.” Remember when that was the craziest thing he said? Life was simpler then.

Luckily, Stab Premium member and Canadian pop sensation Celine Dion queued up this spot on analogy. Please reach out to [email protected] to claim your free year of Stab Premium Ms. Dion.

Near, far, wherever you are, remember that Kelly Slater said nice things about Greg Webber’s surfboards even though he’s not allowed to talk about it because of some vague contract or something.

Pumpkins in, Cheddar out.