Kelly Slater Casts Wingardium Leviosa Spell To Save Draco Malfoy From Sudden Slumber At Ryder Cup - Stab Mag

Watch Season 2, Episode 10 of How Surfers Get Paid — The Bounty Hunters

584 Views
Slater magic woke the dementor from an unexpected collapse. Imagery sourced from Daily Mail.

Kelly Slater Casts Wingardium Leviosa Spell To Save Draco Malfoy From Sudden Slumber At Ryder Cup

GOAT magic saves the day.

elsewhere // Sep 29, 2021
Words by Ethan Davis
Reading Time: < 1 minute

The Ryder Cup is a golfing tournament comprising teams from the US and Europe that ran last Thursday in Haven, Wisconsin. 

Among the star-spangled lineup of celebrities was Kelly Slater, Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), NHL star Teemu Selänne, 1980 US Olympic hockey team captain Mike Eurzione, and retired speed skater Dan Jansen.

As Kelly went to tee off on the 18th hole, Malfoy, upon witnessing the GOAT’s divine parabolic swing, collapsed. 

Taking to Instagram to relieve his concerned followers, Tom said: ‘I am on the mend officially, in case you were worried.’ 

A source revealed to The Sun: ‘Everyone was stunned and taken aback but what cameras didn’t see is that Kelly jumped straight into action.

‘{Kelly} ran over to Tom and immediately put him in the recovery position well before medics were on the scene. He then stayed with him, keeping him calm and safe as possible. Kelly is really humble and hasn’t posted about his selfless actions but Tom is grateful for his quick thinking.’

Following some TLC and Wiggenweld potion, Malfoy is back on his feet and ready to continue soul-sucking muggles and wizards, he assured his followers on Monday. 

‘I am on the mend officially, in case you were worried,’ said Tom.

Just in case.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Who Makes The Best Surf Accessories In 2026? 

According to the collective opinion of 7,500 surfers. 

Jun 25, 2026

From EAST To Louis Vuitton

Mikey February and Brick reunite in campaign for luxury high-fashion house.

Jun 24, 2026

How Surfers Get Paid: Season 2, Episode 10

The Bounty Hunters.

Jun 23, 2026

An Italian Surfer Is One Heat Away From World #1

Who can stop Leo Fioravanti?

Jun 22, 2026

Can A CT Veteran Fix My Dogshit Roundhouse?

Why adult surf improvement is embarrassing, slow, humbling, and probably worth it.

Jun 22, 2026

How Not To Start A Surf Brand, With Craig Anderson & Dane Reynolds | StabMic Ep. 19

“There were just so many times when we could’ve quit.”

Jun 22, 2026

In Rio There Are No Favourites

Yellow jerseys fall, world champs bow out, and rookies continue their charge toward Finals Day.

Jun 20, 2026

13 World Titles Fall In Saquarema

A backwashy bloodbath at Itaúna.

Jun 19, 2026

How Surfers Get Paid: Where Have We Been?

A new episode is coming. Here's a refresher on our 15 prior shakes of the…

Jun 18, 2026

Can An Economist’s World Cup Equation Predict Who’s Winning Saquarema?

A Vivo Rio Pro preview.

Jun 17, 2026

A 28-Year-Old Roman On Winning His First CT Event

The Stab Interview with Leonardo Fioravanti.

Jun 16, 2026

2026 Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico, Episode 02

Our first 100-point ride goes down at wedgy Oceanside Pier. 

Jun 15, 2026

Former Takes The Gloves Off, Drops First Proper Surf Team Film 

“Defect” makes its world premiere in Ventura with 1,000 beers, giveaways and a derby car.

Jun 15, 2026

Dane Reynolds Discusses The Biggest Regrets Of His Surfing Career | StabMic Ep. 18

The lost pilot episode.

Jun 15, 2026

Carissa Moore and Leonardo Fioravanti Collect Contrasting Wins At The 2026 Surf City El Salvador Pro

And despite his runner-up finish, Italo defies all odds.

Jun 14, 2026

Tom Lowe Would Go

From consecutive near-fatal wipeouts to paddling the wave of a lifetime at Mullaghmore.

Jun 13, 2026

Godzilla El Niño… Fact Or Fear-Mongering?

Is it really going to be the end of the world?

Jun 12, 2026

Watch: Ritualistic Tendencies, A Heavyweight Film Of The Year Contender

The eyewear cult releases their first team feature film.

Jun 11, 2026
Advertisement