Kelly Slater Casts Wingardium Leviosa Spell To Save Draco Malfoy From Sudden Slumber At Ryder Cup - Stab Mag

Live Now — Episode 3 Of Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico

169 Views
Slater magic woke the dementor from an unexpected collapse. Imagery sourced from Daily Mail.

Kelly Slater Casts Wingardium Leviosa Spell To Save Draco Malfoy From Sudden Slumber At Ryder Cup

GOAT magic saves the day.

elsewhere // Sep 29, 2021
Words by Ethan Davis
Reading Time: < 1 minute

The Ryder Cup is a golfing tournament comprising teams from the US and Europe that ran last Thursday in Haven, Wisconsin. 

Among the star-spangled lineup of celebrities was Kelly Slater, Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), NHL star Teemu Selänne, 1980 US Olympic hockey team captain Mike Eurzione, and retired speed skater Dan Jansen.

As Kelly went to tee off on the 18th hole, Malfoy, upon witnessing the GOAT’s divine parabolic swing, collapsed. 

Taking to Instagram to relieve his concerned followers, Tom said: ‘I am on the mend officially, in case you were worried.’ 

A source revealed to The Sun: ‘Everyone was stunned and taken aback but what cameras didn’t see is that Kelly jumped straight into action.

‘{Kelly} ran over to Tom and immediately put him in the recovery position well before medics were on the scene. He then stayed with him, keeping him calm and safe as possible. Kelly is really humble and hasn’t posted about his selfless actions but Tom is grateful for his quick thinking.’

Following some TLC and Wiggenweld potion, Malfoy is back on his feet and ready to continue soul-sucking muggles and wizards, he assured his followers on Monday. 

‘I am on the mend officially, in case you were worried,’ said Tom.

Just in case.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 3

"The tribe has spoken," Dane Reynolds pronounced, and a surfer's torch was snuffed.

Jul 3, 2025

When Surfer’s Eye Is Actually Cancer

Erin Campbell's brutal journey from surf camp dreams to chemo drops, cryotherapy, and surgical horror.

Jul 3, 2025

Surfing’s 2025 Q2 Report

An assessment of surfing's vital signs throughout the second quarter of 2025.

Jul 2, 2025

What Actually Happened to Occy’s Mad Max Plunger Pool In Yeppoon?

Surf Lakes’ brass talks: internet hecklers, the unplugging of the plunger, and the Tom Curren…

Jul 2, 2025

Poor Goofy Foots 

Data shows that the world is stacked against goofs — they even make 15% less money than…

Jul 1, 2025

Britain’s First Wavepool Has Closed — What Really Happened?

Bankruptcy, social media hackings, debts unpaid — and yet, reopening looms.

Jul 1, 2025

Watch: Was Matt Meola’s Air Actually Better Than Hughie’s?

Watch the full Swatch Nines highlight reel and decide.

Jun 30, 2025

Houshmand Bludgeons Field To Win Second CT — Molly Picklum Tastes Blood, Snatches World #1 In Brazil

You can't argue with big surfing — that's Saquarema wrapped.

Jun 29, 2025

37 Years Old And World #1 — What’s Changed For Jordy Smith?

On rediscovering decades old surfboard templates, having a personality on the CT, and why this…

Jun 27, 2025

Tom Lowe Stars in ‘Let Me Live’

The wild, improbable ascent of Britain’s best big-wave surfer.

Jun 27, 2025

Saq Wrap: Italo Celebrates Mid-Heat, Griff Drops A Freestyle, Jordy + Yago Continue BBQing 20-YOs

Top seeds sow ruin, Final 5 starts to crystallize.

Jun 27, 2025

Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico: Episode 2

Our seven surviving surfers confront an oddly large California beach break.

Jun 26, 2025

SEOTY: The ‘Once-In-A-Decade’ Caribbean Swell That Kelly Slater Passed On

Michael Dunphy stars in Jimmicane's 'Blue Veil'

Jun 25, 2025

Who Owns Bingin? Legal Fight To Stop Demolition Begins

Eviction notices served for all businesses built on state land.

Jun 25, 2025

Tony Hawk Just Named Hughie Vaughan’s Internet-Breaking Air Because… No One Else Can

89% of our IG poll respondents claimed the 'stale fish flipper' was the best air…

Jun 25, 2025

German Surfers: AN INVESTIGATION

Truth is the light by which the world can see. 

Jun 24, 2025

“I Lost Everything I’ve Ever Owned, But This Board Came Back”

One month after the LA wildfires, a surfboard washed ashore.

Jun 24, 2025

Shock Therapy: World 1 & 2 Eliminated Early In Saquarema

Gabriela Bryan and Caity Simmers fall victim on Day 1 of the Vivo Rio Pro.

Jun 22, 2025
Advertisement