Kelly Slater Finishes 8th Place In List Of Cameron Diaz’s Boyfriends Ranked By Net Worth

Respectable tabloid TheRichest.com has left the surf community shellshocked after revealing that 11x World Champion and Endorfins founder, Kelly Slater, is only the eighth richest former squeeze of Hollywood star, Cameron Diaz. 

Despite denying rumors of a fling with the Charlie’s Angels and There’s Something About Mary actress, the GOAT’s sizable ‘$25 million’ fortune was included anyway, where it was dwarfed by the serious cheese of Justin Timberlake ($250 mil) and illusionist Criss Angel Mindfreak ($50 mil) – the latter of whom once spent 24 hours treading water inside a sealed tank in Times Square, in a breathtaking act of underwater stupidity.

While some may argue winning World Titles is more impressive than playing Zuck or using a snorkel, overwhelming evidence, and that old chestnut about ‘money talks’ suggest otherwise – a topic covered extensively in our latest docuseries ‘How Surfers Get Paid’. 

Diaz, not exactly poor herself, has shown remarkable humanity in settling for the seventh-richest fellow, Benji Madden, lead singer of Good Charlotte, who adds a modest $40 million in cloud cover to their rainy-day fund. 

Unconfirmed rumors suggest Kelly is devising his own listicle, pitting Ms. Diaz’s boyfriends against one another according to their number of CT victories.