Do You Know These Surfboard Thieves?
cc: Palantir.
In an age of mass surveillance, theft is especially brazen.
Particularly when the item in question is an unmistakable 6’4 x 18 11/16 x 2 9/16 asymmetrical swallow tail, painted pink and blue, shaped by Ashton Pickle, and according to Harry, “the best board of the pack” that qualified for the EAST Grand Finale, dropping October 2.
FWIW, nobody knew footage of the crime even existed until Danny stumbled across it while editing months later. Not even lensman Wade Carroll, who was shooting wide from the point and accidentally captured the couple making off with the board.
Based on the footage, they appear to know exactly what they’re doing.
They slowly edge closer. They lie beside the board for a moment, seemingly waiting to make sure nobody reacts. Then, once the coast is clear, they grab it and run for the hills.
In the aftermath, locals launched a manhunt to identify the thieves. So far, no luck. But I have contacted a friend at Palantir and sent him high-rez screenshots of the two. Let’s see how far Big Brothers tentacles stretch…
If you have any information about the missing Ashton Pickle board, please email [email protected].
Any information that leads to the board’s recovery will earn you an EAST replica board as a reward.
