Can Caity Simmers Unite The World? - Stab Mag

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Can Caity Simmers Unite The World?

Sim simmer, lil homie, simmer.

elsewhere // Sep 13, 2024
Words by Jack O'Neill Paterson
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Since the beginning of time, the brightest minds have quarrelled over how to make competitive surfing captivating to the casually curious, without alienating its core disciples. 

Every formula, so far, seems to have fallen short. They’ve journeyed to the far reaches of the globe, chased cash, rewritten the rulebook, upgraded the tech, rotated the staff, and even hired Oprah Winfrey’s coffee clerk for guidance. Yet, they’ve only found dead ends and snake pits. 

But then, a revelation: an 18-year-old, freshly crowned World Champ from Oceanside.

There’s been a lot of hype surrounding Caity Simmers lately, and it would be reckless to join the chorus without a critical and unbiased review of her surfing. After thoroughly assessing the clip above, the only logical conclusion is to hand her the goddamn keys to the city.

Caity’s latest offering on her premium surfing channel, Toasted Media, is a finals-day edit featuring some behind-the-scenes skylarking from before and after the comp. Remarkably, her surfing in a jersey, over three heats at gutless Trestles, seamlessly translates into a genuine surf part. 

It could easily be mistaken for an edit crafted over months, and you’d be hard-pressed to find another surfer who could pull this off without it feeling corny or overproduced. 

At 18-years-old, Caity is the youngest ever Women’s champ, and the first of (presumably) many Stab High Lady Birds to win a title. But she hasn’t let the fame go to her brain. Today, just two weeks after being crowned champion of the world, Caity led the Oceanside Boardriders Girls Surf Practice event.

Whether you’re a comp lover, a critic, a purist, an outsider, Dane Reynolds, or Pedro Scooby, it feels like we’re all apart of this celebration. Can Caity Simmers unite the world?

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