They Burned His Hair And Painted His Body - Stab Mag

EAST with Harry Bryant coming August 18...

941 Views
Photo: Florian Miot-Bruneau

They Burned His Hair And Painted His Body

Keks Machine hosts ‘Lord Of The Flies’

elsewhere // Aug 3, 2023
Words by Coral McDuffee
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Here’s what unfolded when the Keks Machine crew hosted team blue in Biarritz.

I didn’t think Mckenzie Bowden (aka the pretty boy influencer that makes fun of Germans) could lose his cool.

Life handed him Stab Highway, and he had a European vacation— despite hiccups like wearing nothing but a Speedo, a pure croissant diet, and the perils of living in a van with team Gen Z.

The only time we saw Peter Pan run out of pixie dust was when the Keks Machine Kids set his golden locks aflame. The incident occurred on day three of the road war through Europe when the Blue Team crashed Capt Juliette Lacome’s crib in Biarritz.

“We were in Juju’s hometown, so it would have been rude not to visit the local crew,” Mckenzie recalls. “She (Juliette) arranged a big ol cook up of snails, we all had a few drinks, and naturally, the haircut challenge came up. The crew starts egging Joel to do it. But he wasn’t having it— so I went f**k have a go at mine. “

You may remember when Mckenzie’s girlfriend banished him to the doghouse after the sundial haircut on Stab Highway, Australia.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do the haircut thing again after the last highway.”

But 11,104 mi from New Zealand, mrthankyouplease was the new kid on the block, and the rest had scissors, lighters, and cans of spray paint.

“The hacking and burning was all good fun, but when they sprayed me, I thought the paint was water-based at first, then got rattled when I realized it wasn’t. I woke up the next day with a case of the scarys, questioning all my life decisions,” Mckenzie admitted.

Have the KeKs Machine kids bested the Mailcop’s Stab Highway torcher tactics? Find out tonight when Ep. 2 of Stab Highway, presented by Monster Energy, goes live at 5pm PT.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Kolohe Andino Is Sick Of Watching Surfers Eat Breakfast | StabMic Ep. 27

"We need to make surfers look cool again."

Aug 17, 2026

Want A Free Trip To Kandui With Some Custom Boards In The Mix?

Benji Brand can vouch for goofy season on Karangmajat island. 

Aug 17, 2026

Why There’s “No Free Ride Anymore”In Pro Surfing

Ian Crane on modern Surfenomics, bigger airs, and why creativity still matters

Aug 16, 2026

Hossegor Beach Cocaine Episode 2: The White Tide

What happens when a sleepy surf town is flooded with sniffly white powder?

Aug 14, 2026

Shaper Reveal: EAST With Harry Bryant

10 shapers, hand-picked and delivered blindly to our first goofy-footed test pilot.

Aug 14, 2026

The Underdogs Shall Inherit The Earth

Low seeds reign on Teahupo'o finals day.

Aug 14, 2026

How To Have A Tits Out Summer On Your Terms

Stab's 2026 swimwear review.

Aug 13, 2026

Don’t Believe In Fairytales

The four things you need to know from Day Five at Teahupo’o.

Aug 13, 2026

54-Year Old Kelly Slater Just Combo’d Medina At Evil Teahupo’o

Bad day to be Ronny Nelson.

Aug 11, 2026

2026 Surf100 Challenge Series Presented By Pacifico, Episode 06

100 points decide our first finalist.

Aug 10, 2026

Mason Ho On Farming, Andy Irons, And The Day He Punched Kelly Slater | StabMic Ep. 26

"Farming is completely opening my brain."

Aug 10, 2026

Kelly’s Quinquagenarian Dominance, Eli’s Gumption, And Eimeo’s Upset

Three takeaways from six heats on Day 1 at the Outerknown Tahiti Pro.

Aug 9, 2026

Hossegor Beach Cocaine Episode 1: Y2K To Infinity

A new Stab Premium podcast series.

Aug 7, 2026

Take Stab’s 2027 Audience Survey, (Maybe) Win A Trip To Kandui

...and two custom surfboards.

Aug 6, 2026

Biblical Swell To Greet The Youngest, Oldest, And Most Unhinged Wildcards In Teahupo’o History

A Tahiti Pro preview.

Aug 6, 2026

SEOTY: Michael Dunphy and His Fantastic Flying Machine Star in ‘Stream East’

To the Caribbean and beyond.

Aug 5, 2026

Can A Stab Writer Make One Heat In A QS2000?

We're about to find out.

Aug 5, 2026

Investigation: The $24 Million Plan To Kill Shark’s Cove

Eight local businesses sit in the crosshairs of the North Shore's Karen-Elite.

Aug 3, 2026
Advertisement