They Burned His Hair And Painted His Body - Stab Mag
748 Views
Photo: Florian Miot-Bruneau

They Burned His Hair And Painted His Body

Keks Machine hosts ‘Lord Of The Flies’

elsewhere // Aug 3, 2023
Words by Coral McDuffee
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Here’s what unfolded when the Keks Machine crew hosted team blue in Biarritz.

I didn’t think Mckenzie Bowden (aka the pretty boy influencer that makes fun of Germans) could lose his cool.

Life handed him Stab Highway, and he had a European vacation— despite hiccups like wearing nothing but a Speedo, a pure croissant diet, and the perils of living in a van with team Gen Z.

The only time we saw Peter Pan run out of pixie dust was when the Keks Machine Kids set his golden locks aflame. The incident occurred on day three of the road war through Europe when the Blue Team crashed Capt Juliette Lacome’s crib in Biarritz.

“We were in Juju’s hometown, so it would have been rude not to visit the local crew,” Mckenzie recalls. “She (Juliette) arranged a big ol cook up of snails, we all had a few drinks, and naturally, the haircut challenge came up. The crew starts egging Joel to do it. But he wasn’t having it— so I went f**k have a go at mine. “

You may remember when Mckenzie’s girlfriend banished him to the doghouse after the sundial haircut on Stab Highway, Australia.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do the haircut thing again after the last highway.”

But 11,104 mi from New Zealand, mrthankyouplease was the new kid on the block, and the rest had scissors, lighters, and cans of spray paint.

“The hacking and burning was all good fun, but when they sprayed me, I thought the paint was water-based at first, then got rattled when I realized it wasn’t. I woke up the next day with a case of the scarys, questioning all my life decisions,” Mckenzie admitted.

Have the KeKs Machine kids bested the Mailcop’s Stab Highway torcher tactics? Find out tonight when Ep. 2 of Stab Highway, presented by Monster Energy, goes live at 5pm PT.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

JJF + Dane Reynolds Recall The Best Session Of Their Lives

"It felt like you could do anything you wanted.”

Mar 13, 2026

86% Of Women’s CS Qualifiers Are Currently From Europe

Who are 'Euroforce Femme' and where did they come from?

Mar 11, 2026

Watch: Episode One Of ‘VELA’ Featuring John John Florence

A perfect empty right, a shallow empty left, and one 3x World Champ.

Mar 11, 2026

Unlocked: Brody Mulik Stars In ‘fourteen.’

Homeschooled at The Box and Tombies, the fifteen-year-old might be Western Australia's best student.

Mar 11, 2026

Watch: Patti Zhou In Her Element(s)

Snow, water, but mostly air.

Mar 11, 2026

Watch: Quiksilver’s King Of The Groms Final

Kash Brown, Mananalu Chandler, Brody Mulik, and Dylan Donegan try to freesurf their way into…

Mar 11, 2026

Ethan Ewing: The Next Stab In The Dark Star

Back to first principles, with modern horsepower.

Mar 10, 2026

Where Are Surfing’s Next Male Superstars?

Young women are dominating pro surfing, while the men’s tour ages. Why?

Mar 9, 2026

John Florence Is About To Capture The Attention Of The Entire Surf World (Again)

This is why the 3x World Champ won't be returning to the tour.

Mar 9, 2026

Do It For Your Postcode

Pros and Joes delivered a thrilling ABB Grand Final, in a format that remains undefeated.

Mar 9, 2026

A Dane Reynolds Extended Cut Of Craig Anderson + Ben Howard In Chile

*Instantly adds Defective Units Vol.1 soundtrack to Spotify playlist.*

Mar 8, 2026

Those Who Can’t Remember The Past Are Doomed To Repeat It

A second Newcastle Challenger preview — and a CT qualification update.

Mar 8, 2026

Dan Mann Won Stab In The Dark X — Now What?

Was Kelly Slater handed a frozen envelope?

Mar 7, 2026

Profile: Taro Kelly Slater Watanabe

Brad Gerlach, Jon Pyzel and Quinn Graham on the 23yo from Topanga.

Mar 7, 2026

Inside The Mind Of Kelly Slater, With Sam McIntosh | StabMic Episode 04

Stab co-founder joins Dane Reynolds and Damien Fahrenfort at the desk.

Mar 6, 2026

Why Shane Dorian Is Still Sponsored And Still Wrangling Massive Pipeline At 53 Years Old

“In life, you have to adapt or die. Period."

Mar 5, 2026

Medina’s Sponsor Search Takes A Clever Turn

Higher education enters the sport of homeschooling.

Mar 5, 2026

The Most Controversial Stab In The Dark Ever

174 waves and 14.5 hours in the brine later.

Mar 4, 2026
Advertisement