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READER POLL 2017
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Close READER POLL 2017
We promise this won't (really) hurt.

Wanna win a new surfboard? We have a custom Chilli ‘Black Vulture’ to gift (plus all the trim you’d expect from a premium dealer). To be in the running, just answer a few questions for us. It won’t take long.

Somehow, Who Is JOB Still Exists In 2017

You know when you have to look up whether or not somebody is still alive?

For example, the other day, I found out that Arnold Palmer is dead. Very dead. He died just over a year ago, in a Pennsylvanian hospital when his heart just sort of putzed out like the engine of a Kia. He will be remembered for his ability to strike small white balls with a club as well as his relationship with the softest drink of all time — the ice tea and lemonade combo. 

Earlier today, I had to look up if Who Is JOB (the show, not the person) is still alive. And it is. Very alive. The series recently dub-stepped its way into a seventh season. Impressive. Fine, I’ll click.  

The first episode starts and things quickly become EXTREME. The womp-womp-womp-womp of a song seizures its way into your ears. The graphics meet your eye and you feel like they belong in or around a strip club. A scene evolves on the beach at Pipeline and you’re immediately reminded of MTV in the mid 2000s. For a moment there, you begin to feel like you are inside a can of Red Bull. Like your entire identity is gone and you have become an Austrian energy drink. 

Then it transitions into barrels and bull riding and speedos and a guy on water skis and people boxing while riding waves but you get bored and choose to read up on the Industrial Revolution instead. Textiles don’t make you feel as though you are Red Bull. 

But still… It’s impressive that, after over five years, Jamie is still coming up with and executing weird ideas. Quick question though: do people care anymore?  

Remember how Jadson Andre used to get scores for airs until the judges got used to it and stopped scoring them? Now, if Mick lands one it’s a 9 while if Jadson lands one it’s a 5. Well, I think Jamie O’Brien has officially Jadson’d himself. We've grown accustomed to his schtick and now everything he does feels like it deserves an asterisk. 

*One quick asterisk on this story, though. I once spoke to Jamie about the show and this is what he had to say: 

“Everyone can relate to having fun because everyone is capable of having fun. People might have a hard time relating to high-performance surfing — even I do, sometimes. I've watched John John do a crazy air into the flats and felt like I couldn't even relate to it. But when it comes to having fun, anybody can do it. So it's easier to inspire people this way.” 

It’s almost like the sugariness of a lemonade meeting the stern flavor of an iced tea. (Rest in peace, Arnold.)

So with that, I don’t know how to feel about Who Is JOB Season 7. Part of me respects the fun-lovingness of it and the other part thinks we already know who JOB is and maybe I’d prefer to see him stand tall in tubes instead of mounting a GoPro onto a Razor Scooter onto a SUPSquatch and hoping to make it onto BuzzFeed’s homepage. 

 

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