Stab Magazine | The Daring Adventures of Rosy Hodge

Live Now: Cheat Codes With Coco Ho

3976 Views

The Daring Adventures of Rosy Hodge

Rosy Hodge? Ain’t that the gal on the webcasts? It is!

girls // Oct 24, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

From Stab issue 65: In the middle of a summer night…

Video by Shinya Dalby

Oh, aren’t our prayers answered! Here, pictured, we see the marvellous Rosy Hodge, a pro surfer of course, sponsored all the way to the hilt by Roxy, but who is also the undisputed queen of the post-heat interview. A world champion of the post-heat interview, if awards were awarded for such things.

Don’t you even dare tell me you’re unaware of her broad South African vowels and hair that flashes like warped gold or of the way she towers over her subjects, projecting a comely blend of intimidation and sex appeal.

Often, and now that I’ve mentioned it you’ll notice it, big names, household names, stare wide-eyed with their very famous mouths fixed open.

“Ah, can you repeat the question?”

But, here, tonight, just before midnight, Rosy is in Byron Bay. The champagne we’re fritzing for one of the shots ain’t champagne, of course, cause who’s going to fritz real French? Not when it’s back in the refrigerator, cooling just right, ready for its final resting place in an ice bucket. This is Australian swill we’re murdering here, Jacobs Creek, maybe, 10 slugs a throw. What’s the count on the real juice tonight? Six? Eight?

“Slow maaah roll,” sings Rosy at one point when it must’ve appeared her flute was magical and never emptied. We pull back the bottle.

“How about a red?” we ask.

“Sure.”

From four-thirty pm until a fingernail before midnight, the custodians of Stab magazine collect much data. While the photographer soaks up what we might call a brazen corn-fed beauty, we learn from our pestering that she possess an undeniably strong and moving personality.

Rosy tells us she was reared in East London aka Slumtown, although Queensbury Bay where she learned to lick her chops in the surf ain’t exactly Soweto. That if you were stand on the lawns surrounding her parent’s house, you might see giraffes, zebra and perhaps a lion. That the righthand point in front of her house was the stage for a much-viewed youtube clip where the viewer watches, horrified, but secretly fascinated, as two Great White sharks attacked, but not fatally a pal. And, where, just three years ago, Rosy watched Greg Emslie, the former South African professional, be charged, bumped and circled by a four-metre White.

“On the beach bawled our eyes out,” says Rosie. “I ran home crying and hid in a corner cradling myself.” These experiences have given Rosie a constant feeling of attack, by shark, even when she’s many thousands of nautical miles from her home country (Rosie admits she has the Great White tracking app on her telephone), and says she is much more respectful towards the animals and henceforth never surfs when the sardines are running at her home beach however good the waves might be.

But sharks ain’t on the menu tonight. That kinda talk is so intimidating. All we’re thinking about is creative contemplation, eating, travelling, conversing, sleeping, dreaming and maybe urinating on the palm trees that line this beach house (Champagne goes straight through you, don’t it!).

Now let’s turn our attention back to the subject. Envision her now, smoking with a contemptuous scowl and yelling derision at you in a rough harsh voice. You return her gaze with blank and tender eyes. – Derek Rielly

Stay tuned for the full gallery…

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

From ‘Blue Ribbon Cross Country Runner’ to Vogue – How Steph Again Is Back With A Rip Curl Remix

Everything we know about the she-GOATs sponsorship boomerang.

Mar 18, 2024

Stab Interview: Darren Handley On Why You Can’t Buy The Winning Stab In The Dark Model

And his decades-long standoff with Slater.

Mar 17, 2024

Griff Embraces Portugal’s Eternal Time Loop To Vanquish Medina + Ewing, Defay Delays The Inevitable

A redeeming closing act at Supertubos.

Mar 16, 2024

The Secret Behind Lungi Slabb’s Inconceivable Greenmount Funnel

Six broken boards, one leaking forehead, and five days of Superbank mysticism.

Mar 16, 2024

Cheat Codes: 2,000 Hours Worth Of Travel Advice From Coco Ho

Hard-earned wisdom from 989,000 miles in the troposphere.

Mar 15, 2024

Dane Reynolds On The Best + Worst Surfboard He’s Designed, Why The ‘Neckbeard’ Is A Misnomer, And How To Appear Cultured When Sizing Up A New Stick

Plus, an introduction to the newly-minted CI Dumpster Diver 2.

Mar 14, 2024

The Most Cinematic Surf Film Since ‘View From A Blue Moon?’

The best wave of Noah Beschen's life at sinister Chopes and 540s with Tyler, The…

Mar 13, 2024

Watch: ‘Vacation 2’ Presented By Monster Energy

Stab Highway Europe winners visit House of Somos, Costa Rica.

Mar 13, 2024

DHD Wins Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino

Plus, which Orwellian Premium members best prophesied our Stab In The Dark winners?

Mar 12, 2024

The Shortest Day At Supertubos

Early bird gets the skunk.

Mar 12, 2024

Watch: Kelly Slater Bails On Onshore Portugal, Gets Supertubed at Kirra Instead

“No ski. No runarounds. No snaps.”

Mar 12, 2024

Rumor: 8x World Champion Stephanie Gilmore To Leave Roxy For Another Legacy Surf Brand

The woman who Kelly Slater called 'God's gift to surfing' ignites a bidding war.

Mar 12, 2024

The Longest Day At Supertubos

Much to love, little to hate.

Mar 12, 2024

Joel Parkinson, Jay Davies, And Mark Zuckerberg Jog Into A Jingoistic Surf Biathlon…

An American's POV of the Australian Boardriders Battle.

Mar 11, 2024

No SuperToobs Today, But We’ll Never Turn Down A Rippable Wedge

Any port in a storm.

Mar 10, 2024

The Serendipitous Tale Of A Barnacle-Encrusted 10’0” That Survived 300 Days + 700kms On The East Australia Current

Paddy Power’s big wave gun was lost at Wedding Cake Island, Sydney and collected (by…

Mar 10, 2024

Was Fiji Last Week As Special As The Thundercloud Swell Of 2012?

“I’ve never seen so many people get so many good ones,” said 2023 SSOTY Nathan…

Mar 9, 2024

SEOTY: Hughie Vaughan Discovered A New Wave In Indonesia — But He Doesn’t Know Where It Is

Watch 'Nibbler' — the 17-year-old's bite-sized 2024 Stab Edit of The Year entry.

Mar 9, 2024
Advertisement