Who Would Crosby Colapinto Invite to One Night in Hotel Quarantine? - Stab Mag
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Who Would Crosby Colapinto Invite to One Night in Hotel Quarantine?

The wildcard speaks from his Australian pseudo-prison.

style // Mar 12, 2021
Words by Jack Mutschler
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Crosby Colapinto has a good little gig going.

While his older brother Griffin is a competitor on the WSL Championship Tour, Crosby acts as a “support system”. That means he travels around in Griff’s back pocket, grabbing clips for the Cola Bros vlog, scoring all the CT locations without fear of exhaustion or injury, and building his personal profile along the way.

The young aristocrat’s luck—which started in Indo last year and rolled through winter on the North Shore—has recently landed him in Australia. Officially, Crosby made the trip to support his brother and escape Southern California’s off-season. But in typical Crosby fashion, things got even better. Kelly pulled out of Newcastle, Mikey Wright shifted up, and the wildcard slot became wide open.

Given Crosby’s recent accolades, plus the fact that Rip Curl decided to sponsor the Australian leg, C-Note got the call up for Newcastle. Chances are, he’ll get into Narrabeen too.

So I used up the temporary prisoner’s call-time for the week, and got the details on his cell block.

*Disclaimer, I kept the interview undeniably silly. The kid is in isolation for 14 days; I figured a good laugh ought to keep him from going Tom Hanks in Castaway.

Crosby and Quarantine Griffin.

Stab: Crosby guy, whats up? How’s it going? 

Crosby Colapinto: Oh, I’m doing good. I’m just in the room—the same room, staring at the same walls. 

You by yourself? 

Yeah, I’m solo, but our filmer/friend is directly below me. We’ll go out on our balconies just to see a real-life person. 

They got room service in there?

No, they don’t have room service. You can order groceries to the room and Uber Eats and stuff. 

You got a good view?

Nahhh, I’m looking straight into another building. There’s just a bunch of buildings around me. I saw on Gabe’s story he’s got a view of the whole city.

No wild card views here.

Oof, there must be a pecking order for the suites. How’s the wifi there? Are you able to get to your Mofos?

It kind of breaks up now and then. It’s definitely not the best wifi, but it does the job.

Better than a magazine, I guess. Where’d you sit on the flight, business class?

I was in first class…. nah I’m joking I was in business class.

Anyone join the mile high club on that bitch or what? 

No, I don’t think so. Maybe, when I was sleeping, someone could have been in the bathroom getting busy.

What’s the toilet paper like in Hotel Quarantine? One-ply? Two-ply? Need the fellas at the Oz office to drop off some Charmin?

I’m not an expert on ply, but it’s pretty soft. Not too thin, not too thick, the perfect amount of softness.

What day are you on? Are you carving tallies on the wall like you’re in prison?

Day four. And I’m trying to do like a little pushup log where I do like a hundred pushups a day. So I have that as my tallies. 

Besides handstands, what are you doing to stay loose?

Stretching every day and working out. They gave me a spin bike and some weights, so that’s nice. I can get jacked and thrash it around. Then there’s a two-hour period of “what do I do now?”

And you didn’t know you were surfing in the comp until you got there, right?

Yeah, I think it was on the second day, Fletch called me and told me. Coming out here, I knew there was a small chance because I heard Kelly might pull out, but I really just came to support Griffin. Plus, the waves in Oz are better than at home.

Do you feel pressure about competing?

There’s definitely a little pressure, but I’m just going to try to have fun. When I did the CT in Portugal, I definitely put myself under a lot of pressure. At the end of the day, it’s not like I’m fighting to keep a spot on tour; it’s just a wildcard.

Do you hear constant banging on the walls of other surfers working out?

I definitely hear banging, but I don’t know if it’s people working out.

 Gotcha. Do you track your screen time?

I haven’t really tracked it, but if I notice that I’m sucked into Instagram, and I’m looking at nonsense, and I’ll put it down.

Are you watching any shows or reading books? You don’t read books, do you?

I do, I’ve been trying to read everyday. Gotta keep the mind sharp.

You fuckin nerd! Crane told me you were cool, books aren’t cool. What are you reading right now?

Hahaha, Crane is the man, and I’m reading Breaking the Habit Of Being Yourself. It’s about the science of the mind.

Last movie you watched?

I Am Legend.

If you could have one person in the world come hang out for the night with no risk of COVID, who would it be?

Alexis Ren.

So she could help you read books?

Exactly.

Where’s the first place you’re going to go when you get out.

I don’t even know what the plan is. I think we might hit Boomerang Beach.

I’ll let you get back to losing your mind—good talking to ya, Crosby. I think you can gamble on pro surfing in Oz, I’ll ask one of the fellas put $100 on ya. 

Sounds good man, take it easy.

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