Comments Of The Week, Edition 61

14. BTS Of Taylor Steele’s New Film “Proximity” With Rob Machado And Craig Anderson

“”Natural angles. No fake.” Translation: Stand over there. Ride that horse. Ride it better. Don’t look at me. Don’t ever fucking look at me.

– Badger, director. (6 upvotes)

*

13. Graphic Footage: Costa Rica Crocodile Attack Victim Rips Jaws From Face

“This reminds me of a story about a promising young golfer cut down in his prime. RIP Chubbs.”

– Claiming Medina, nostalgic. (31 upvotes)

*

12. #TOURNOTES: Filipe Toledo Doubles Down On The US Open

“”The wave got like super hollow” – 2:47.”

– Creed Mcfagget, scathing. (6 upvotes)

*

11. Alex Smith In “Tiger Tracks”

“Alex Smith is the kind of name I give cops when I get caught peeing ing public. Surprised this guy can even leave the country, a real serial public pee’er.”

– david f, bandito. (10 upvotes)

*

10. Here’s How YOU Can Ride Kelly Slater’s Wavepool

“Can’t wait for a mom/daughter combo from Austin, Texas who have never surfed in their lives to win this thing!”

– david f, probably accurate. (12 upvotes)

*

9. “The Final Was A Dream Come True.” – Taj Burrow

“Taj had to step away form the WSL to experience winning.”

– FuegoInTheGut, savage. (7 upvotes)

*

8. Jay Davies, Marlon Gerber And More In “Chemical Mystic”

“WARNING: Sever lack of Jay Davies.”

– Ken, outraged. (9 upvotes)

*

7. A Comprehensive Guide To South Africa

“Key to having fin in South Africa: Don’t be black.”

– noadeanesmoustache, brutal honesty. (11 upvotes)

*

6. So, Who The Hell Are The Lunada Bay Boys?

“With all the money and spare time, you’d think they’d do-up the fort. The do nada boys.”

– Michael Newman, disappointed but punny. (15 upvotes)

*

5. The Netflix Of Surfboards

“ I’d personally like to see the Pornhub of surfboards, You get your boards free, start out modestly… a JS Monsta here… a Channel Islands Fred Stubble there… but over time your wants and needs become so twisted, next thing you know you’re riding a Slater Designs Banana. You think it’s normal but your friends are all like, ‘You’re fucked up.’”

– Plain Viewz, honest. (58 upvotes)

*

4. Graphic Footage: Costa Rica Crocodile Attack Victim Rips Jaws From Face

“What’s up with his board caddie? Dude has a croc on his face and his buddy is just holding his board, then fucking disappears like he’s for a date with some nachos.”

– Tate MacDowell, Nacho lover. (8 upvotes)

*

3. Sumbawa, Indonesia Is Brilliant

“Can I get the Balaram Stack on Gluten Free?”

– Wilko’s Beer Bong, hungry (but health conscious). (5 upvotes)

*

2. The Single Fin Highlights From Surfing’s Most Luxe Event

“Where do you get those big hot chick stickers like Taj has on the bottom of his board?” – Wripples.

(In reply:) “1998.” – llllllll (10 upvotes)

*

1. Watch ESPN’s E60: Shark Attacks Mick Fanning

“Someone call PETA, this cow is being milked to death.”

– brendan huff, concerned. (15 upvotes).

*