Stab Magazine | Here's What A Film Premiere Should Look Like

Live Now: Chapter 11 Mini-Documentary With Dane Reynolds

921 Views

Here’s What A Film Premiere Should Look Like

Drag’s ‘Ripped’ tour kicked off a little looser than anticipated. 

news // Jun 5, 2018
Words by stab
Reading Time: 4 minutes

Who the fuck has film premieres anymore? 

I thought the Instagram conglomerate had encompassed everything from cake-faced selfies to the entirety of surfing motion pictures; these days it’s tough going to see a clip over 60 seconds long, let alone set yourself into a venue for a full-length feature.  

Fortunately, for those of us with a penchant for old-fashioned booze and riot filled premieres, Drag had us covered. 

Photo 1 6 18 4 55 12 pm

Pre-film, pre-riot and well before the hangovers set in.

Photography

Kane Grosvenor

Alright, ‘riot’ may be a stretch, but as far as surf prems go, last Thursday in the ‘Gong was one for grandkids – if they’re into tales of quasi-boog flicks and paddy-wagons, that is. 

After pestering the Drag minion, ‘Maddog’, on my way South, I was informed that himself and Katesy were still applying the last minute touches to the clip – this was about five hours before kick-off.

As it turned out, the film wasn’t done* until about five minutes before the prem. And the bunch of beanie-wearing, dart sucking trendsetters out front were becoming flustered by the ongoing delays. Eventually, the hardrive and projector stopped fucking up just long enough for the 40-minute endeavour to be blown up and viewed on the white-painted brickwall inside the Stoke Factory.

Photo 1 6 18 4 55 42 pm

The ‘Designated Officer for Responsible Flipping’ in question.

Photography

Kane Grosvenor

If you’ve seen R.I.P., then expect the same, but with more standing up – it’s certainly no Kai Neville edit, despite what the end credits might say.  

Chippa’s section is literally mind blowing, the Drag specimens captured in the process are obscene and for those with a desire for horizontal drops, Sewelley’s end section is mental too. Don’t feel bad if you missed it either, because it’ll be dropping here on Stab in a couple days (more likely weeks considering how timely Drag are though).

After the premiere, Uber’s rolled up and the parents swung back to retrieve those underage and underprepared. 

Those who left however were (un)fortunate enough to witness and take part in the Drag post-show presentation…

“A car got flipped, yeah it was pretty loose…” Chippa underplayed to Stab.

Photo 1 6 18 4 55 48 pm

One minute you’re watching Chippa getting tubed on a stand-up boogie, the next you’re facing the full brunt of the law.

Photography

Kane Grosvenor

As expected, there were smashed bottles, shotgunned beers, early bailing for a Tinder root and even an elaborate backstory behind how the Drag team’s housemate initially wrangled the likes of Craig Anderson and more into the Drag bandwagon – incessant DM’s are the answer. 

What wasn’t expected however was the aptly titled, “Drag Riots”. 

“By the time I made it out the doors of Stoke, Bosley’s car was flipped on it’s side and some dude was skating on the roof of it.” Kane Grosvenor told us the next morning. “Maddog had been asking him to move it for a while, so Moot and Dorf saw this as the perfect opportunity to get the ball rolling.”

The Stoke Factory doesn’t exactly sit in the middle of town either, truthfully, it sits on the industrial outskirts, but that didn’t stop the cops from showing face.

“I think I counted six cop cars” confirmed Kane.

A bloke named Tom was arrested first up and then they followed up by arresting Moot – the carbine-cone surfer pictured above, thankfully, Moot was willing to release a statement the next day confirming his innocence: 

“They cuffed me & threw me in the pie oven over night, dry camp of course, it was all mistaken identity though, at first glance in low light they thought I was related to Mark from Sheringa roadhouse. When they couldn’t get me with anything and before releasing me back into general population, they brought up about the upturned car. The police said “We understand the Drag street riots are just an evolutionary hangover from the BFC, but what we really wanna know is, who’s DORF?”

Tom, the first culprit, also had this to say for himself:

“I feel bad for Bosley, I’ve only met him a few times. He’s a nice guy! I got put in time out the whole night, the pricks wouldn’t even give me a lift to dominos to catch up with my mates when they let me out.”

We’re not sure who’s to blame for the Swan Street carnage on Thursday night, but we do know that the Designated Officer for Responsible Flipping (DORF) certainly wasn’t capable of performing his job properly. 

Photo 1 6 18 4 55 52 pm

Two arrests we’re never going to stop a partially depleted kick-on.

Photography

Kane Grosvenor

After a non-existent clean-up, the Drag-mobile was on pursuit to Newy and Byron. There weren’t any cops present for what was left of the tour, but from all accounts, there should’ve been.

“I’m back alive, Me, Rigga’s, Surfcore and Chippa went huge” said Maddog on his hazy Monday morning.  

There aren’t anywhere near as many film-oriented blow outs as there should be these days, so it’s nice to see someone still holding the ‘surf-bogan’ flag high in this age of couch potatoes and double taps.   

*In fact, the film still isn’t done – as those in attendance may have noticed. “We just gotta tweak two of the sections then we can drop it”. 

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Watch: João Chianca Had A Remarkable Hawaii Season Before His Injury

Plus an update on his condition.

Mar 28, 2024

Pittar’d And Feathered

Do the WSL judges deserve the internet's wrath? We asked the man of the hour.

Mar 28, 2024

Robbo, Pickles, And Tyler Wright Become The Underdogs Breakfast At Uninspiring Winkipop

The foreboding blade sharpens and inconsistent judging prevails on Day Two in Torquay.

Mar 27, 2024

“I Don’t Always Win Heats, But When I Do, I Try To Beat John John”

Slater shines and the axe begins its descent on Day 01 at Bells.

Mar 26, 2024

Back Against The Wall: The Ramzi Boukhiam Redemption

Morocco's first CT surfer on speaking six languages, having no coach, and snatching Fil Toledo's…

Mar 25, 2024

Will Kirra, Babies or JJF Stop a GOAT Winning at Bells?

Bluesky BOAG advice from a Superman specialist and former Trials winner.

Mar 25, 2024

Bells Preview: The WSL’s Victorian Sword Dancing Equinox Ritual

Will a Brazilian crack the Top 10 at Bells?

Mar 25, 2024

69 Shin Bones Later + the Anticlimactic State of Big Wave Record-Breaking

Lucas Chumbo might have surfed the biggest wave ever this year. But how will we…

Mar 23, 2024

Watch: ‘Fresh and Fried’ Ft the Quik Kids

How taxing is it to tackle the Gold Coast’s Triple Crown in a single day,…

Mar 23, 2024

The Popular Vote: The People’s Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion

Which board looked best — to you —under Kolohe's talons?

Mar 22, 2024

Six Key Learnings From Portugal

Three CT events in, what do we know? 

Mar 21, 2024

‘Zipper’ Is Going On Tour, Here’s Where You Can Watch It  

Dates, times + locations for the Venice, Encinitas, Sydney + Byron premieres.  

Mar 20, 2024

Dane Reynolds On His Future, His Past, And Chapter 11’s Raison D’être

Our 9-minute plunge into the collective psyche of Ventura's pillar(s).

Mar 20, 2024

From ‘Blue Ribbon Cross Country Runner’ to Vogue – How Steph Again Is Back With A Rip Curl Remix

Everything we know about the she-GOATs sponsorship boomerang.

Mar 18, 2024

Stab Interview: Darren Handley Explains Why You Can’t Buy The Winning Stab In The Dark Model

And his decades-long standoff with Slater.

Mar 17, 2024

Griff Embraces Portugal’s Eternal Time Loop To Vanquish Medina + Ewing, Defay Delays The Inevitable

A redeeming closing act at Supertubos.

Mar 16, 2024

The Secret Behind Lungi Slabb’s Inconceivable Greenmount Funnel

Six broken boards, one leaking forehead, and five days of Superbank mysticism.

Mar 16, 2024

Cheat Codes: A Million Miles Worth Of Travel Advice From Coco Ho

Hard-earned wisdom from more than 2,000 hours in the troposphere.

Mar 15, 2024
Advertisement