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We promise this won't (really) hurt.

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Watch: John John Florence Compiled His Favorite Clips From 2011-2019

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Watch: John John Florence Compiled His Favorite Clips From 2011-2019

Double-John Florence dropped a greatest hits compilation yesterday and it's pretty darn special. Every wave contained within is just as amazing as when it was first released, no small accomplishment when taking the eight year spread into account.

But it's not enough. Less than a minute of the minute-and-a-half flick contains surfing and I'm still sitting here yearning for more. It feels like a metaphorical hand-job. Almost worse than nothing. Nowhere near enough to fulfill my 21st century proclivities. Gimme gimme gimme! This does not satisfy!

Maybe the plan's to slow-roll a series of 'best of' clips? Keep us waiting, wanting, while Mr Florence takes the time to put his knee back together. Tease us mercilessly until we're ready to explode with anticipation. Then, boom, John John's back on the scene. We were kept sated with a steady drip drip drip of A-grade oldies and it feels like he never left. Like you've spent a memorable evening luxuriating in a lover's body, rather than hammering out a furtive, minute-long, shower tug while back home visiting your parents.

I sincerely hope so. Because I'm all hot and bothered, but I ain't hardly been finished off.

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