Stab Magazine | Kelly Spilt Mustard On The Couch Again

Kelly Spilt Mustard On The Couch Again

Tyler Allen and his Gold Coast adventure.

cinema // Mar 17, 2018
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minutes

Mr Allen’s surf fame is baffling.

He did one impersonation of Donald Trump, it went viral and next thing he knew he was being flown around the world to do interviews in other people’s voices. He was on the red carpet at the SURFER poll in December. At the Lowers event his face joined Mick Fanning, Steph Gilmore, Kelly Slater the rest of the top 34 on the wall behind the scaffolding. It was printed on canvas and for sale. 

Three days ago at Greenmount I ran into him in the water. Tyler lives in LA and I’ve met and had relatively long conversations with him on at least six occasions. Every single time, he’s asked what my name is again. Which isn’t very offensive, as I’m very guilty of the making the awkward handshake, “Yeah, we’ve met before,” reintroduction. But every time I tell him my name is Morgan, he responds, “Stab! What’s up man?” This particular time he proceeded to speak to me strictly in an Australian accent. 

“It’s my first surf in Oz, mate!”

He’s an odd duck. His impersonations are good (Kelly Slater and Occy being the highlights), and are apparently allowing him to travel on other people’s dime – which is truly the dream; and that’s commendable. 

This time around, that dime was Surfstich‘s. 


Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up


Most Recent

Surfing’s Decadent And Depraved Kentucky Derby: Day One

'It's still a wavepool comp'

May 28, 2023

Stab In The Dark With Italo Ferreira, Episode 4

And the shaper behind 2023’s best high-performance shortboard is…

May 28, 2023

Your Loss, Tahiti’s Win

Betonline.AG are donating 100% of their earnings (your losses) from Lemoore towards Tahitian flood victims.

May 26, 2023

The Surf Ranch Pro Preview: 2% Wildcards, Sudden-Death Duels, And Game Theory

Same swamp, (slightly) different rodeo.

May 26, 2023

Exclusive: Stab Speaks With El Niño 

"I’m just focusing on staying potent, moist and warm. I’m not really thinking that far…

May 25, 2023


Watch: Gabriel Medina Ping Pongs Off Brazil’s Most Exclusive Pool Coping Before Lemoore

'The waves at Boa Vista Village are so extravagant, they come with their own personal…

May 24, 2023

Stop Yelling At The Air Reverse 

I will no longer tolerate senseless attacks on the go-backwards community.

May 24, 2023


“He Fingerpainted BEACH HEAD In Big, Bloody Letters Across The Wooden Table”

Ian Crane describes his dysfunctional European escapades.

May 24, 2023

SEOTY: How Does A Mediterranean Surfer Get This Good?

Watch Barcelona’s Hugo Ortega’s ‘Bad Influencer.’

May 23, 2023


Another Reminder Of How Stacked This Year’s Challenger Series Is

All rail, no brakes with Shion Crawford

May 22, 2023

Cole Houshmand Weaponizes Powerful Diff To Bank 18.97 Points In North Narra Final

Issy Nichols gets a w, Aussies lead the Challenger Series.

May 22, 2023

Why Do So Many Surfers Wear Chains Now?

We asked, Italo Ferreira and 8 other surfers weighed in.

May 22, 2023

2% Book Two Spots In Lemoore, 16-Year-Old Ladybird Makes North Narra Finals

A howling southerly puts the remaining four heats on standby.

May 21, 2023

The Stab Interview: Brisa Hennessy 

The Olympian and CT winner competed this whole season while battling a brain tumor.

May 20, 2023

The Pirate’s Guide To Surf Forecasting 

How to do ur own research.

May 20, 2023


“Brazilians Don’t Mess Around On Jet Skis Or Dance Floors”

The Vans Duct Tape Festival does Rio.

May 20, 2023

Dane Reynolds To Continue Love Affair With Buell Wetsuits

Plus, a hefty giveaway to celebrate.

May 19, 2023

Australia’s Most Surfed Wave Is A Pool, Mex Is Best For Reps, Sri Lanka Is The Home Of Surf Enthusiasm

Insights from 3124 SearchGPS users on the fastest, longest and busiest waves in the world.

May 19, 2023