Kelly Slater Is A Jack Of All Trades And Master Of Several

We all know a Midas man – one whose touch is eternally golden. 

The Midas man is handsome, is likable, is talented in everything he does and is therefore the bane of the rest of our existences. The Midas man lives in a world of supreme genetic privilege and steals all the best women, waves, and financial opportunities the world has to offer. It is hard not to hate the Midas man but we know, deep down, that it will not behoove us to make enemies with such powerful people. 

Kelly Slater is a Midas man.

He’s the greatest surfer of all time. He is a scratch golfer and an Instagram philosopher. He has been called one of the most attractive men in the world, even dating women the caliber of which go onto marry Super Bowl champs and big-dicked drummers. He can also throw and catch a football while getting tubed.

In this NFL short film, New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees visits the Ranch for his very first time. After a few falls on the SUP, Drew got the hang of his Firewire and rode the 700-yard wave all the way to its bitter end. 

“He went from very beginner level to like six months of learning within one day,” Slater said of Drew’s rapid improvement.

Then Slater had an idea:

Why don’t you throw me the football mid-wave, then I’ll get tubed with it! 

Somehow, it worked. 

“Having someone pull into the tube then catch the ball is like the best slot receiver I’ve ever had,” Brees said after the completion.

“The camera guy asked me how many times do you think this will take, and I said one, this will be easy!,” Kelly confirmed to the camera.

That goddamn Midas man.

The NFL Network won’t allow us to embed, so you can watch it here.