Stab Magazine | John Florence At Chopes Narrated By Barton Lynch > Your Morning Podcast
221 Views

John Florence At Chopes Narrated By Barton Lynch > Your Morning Podcast

Barton should commentate anything, everything! 

cinema // Aug 26, 2017
Words by stab
Reading Time: < 1 minute

There’s no voice on the WSL commentary team that makes me gleam like Barton’s. I just came across this Sports Science meets the WSL meets Hurley Surf Club meets John Florence at Chopes and have been lifted.

“John only takes a few strokes to get into this wave,” he says with a slight chuckle, “they’re ferocious; they’re determined. The only way to surf a wave like this is to get to your feet with lightning reflexes!”

He’s the David Attenborough of surf. His voice could dress any subject in suede or Italian leather. He has the knowledge and enthusiasm for surfing that’s only rivalled by Steve Irwin on crocs, or Jeremy Wade on extreme freshwater angling.

And now, a few suggestions for Barton’s voice, including but not limited to, that’d bring many smiles:

Barton on the North Korea situation.

Barton on Laird’s new haircut: “The Laird”.

Barton commentates the Floyd Merriweather vs Conner McGregor fight.

Barton in the voice generator of Steven Hawking.

Barton reveals the birds and the bees to elementary students.

Barton watches Ancient Aliens.

Barton narrates erotic Afrofuturism fiction.

Oh, the possibilities!

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Shane Borland Drops His Rage Part, Seals Himself As Ultimate Surf x Skate Crossbreed

“That pink board is Kobo's, and I had some mojo with it.”

Dec 9, 2025

The Man Who Built A Kingdom Without A Crown

The life and legacy of Pukas founder, Iñigo Letamendia.

Dec 8, 2025

Moore Drops 18-Point Totals After 2-Year Break, McGill Sweeps Haleʻiwa and Sunset

“It was so liberating to come in to my husband and daughter and not be…

Dec 8, 2025

The 2024 Eddie Winner On Addiction, Jail Time, And His Long Road To Glory

The Stab interview with Landon McNamara.

Dec 6, 2025

The Eddie Can Go

Brent Bielmann and Mason Ho on the 2025/26 Rip Curl Eddie Opening Ceremony.

Dec 6, 2025

The Desperately Primal Defense Of Something That Was Never Truly Your Own

We talked to the people from that viral Canary Islands localism video.

Dec 5, 2025

EAST With Mikey February, Episode Four

And the four finalists are...

Dec 5, 2025

Queensland Surf Coach Eligible For Parole In 6 Months After Pleading Guilty To 31 Child Sex Offences

The former WSL QS competitor could be released as early as June 2026.

Dec 4, 2025

Nate Florence On The Pipeline Board Matrix, His Superhuman Status & The Truth About Boats

“I got milked and did some milking, basically.” 

Dec 2, 2025

How West Oz Accidentally Built A Good Fucking Wave

“Apparently they were building this reef for beginners and intermediates, but with swell it's a…

Dec 1, 2025

Liam McNamara Raises Over $100K To Bring Back ‘Wave Of The Winter’

“This is not a private party, it's an open door party. Everybody's welcome.”

Nov 30, 2025

Stab Interview: Kolohe Andino Is No Longer For Sale

Brother on Steko, fatherhood, competition, and setting fire to the legacy brands.

Nov 30, 2025

Kelly Slater + Occy On Why The Returning World Champs Should Break Something

And why we’d love to see a Ryan Burch (or insert other psychedelic foam experiment)…

Nov 28, 2025

Roasted: Harry Bryant On The Edge Of A Typhoon In The East China Sea

Xi runs the state, Haz runs the rivermouth.

Nov 27, 2025

How To Order A Surfboard In 2025

Donald Brink, Chris Christenson, and Jon Pyzel on how not to piss off your shaper…

Nov 26, 2025

A New Rule For The 2026 CT Season Puts Carissa, Steph, + John John At An Immediate Disadvantage

The revamped CT format is gloriously cutthroat.

Nov 25, 2025

From The Indies Trader To Vela: How Boats Are Debunking Surfing’s “Crowded World” Narrative

Torren Martyn + the man who named Cloud 9 discuss the laziness of surf tourism…

Nov 23, 2025

“It’s A Gene Pool Of Cool, But It Comes With Every Bag Of Shit That Goes With It”

There’s a new Fletcher documentary you’ll probably want to watch.

Nov 23, 2025
Advertisement