Stab Magazine | We're Giving Away Surf-Conditioning Courses With Two Of Our Fav Online Trainers

Live Now: Chapter 11 Mini-Documentary With Dane Reynolds

519 Views

We’re Giving Away Surf-Conditioning Courses With Two Of Our Fav Online Trainers

Former CT star and international sex symbol Luke Steadman + Taj Burrow’s once-tagalong gut-buster Johnny Gannon are ready to whip your ass into shape!

news // Jun 5, 2020
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

It’s been said that there are two ways to come out of isolation: sporting the tight-cheeked strut of a Grecian god or with wine and gravy spilling from your chin like a Medieval king. 

Some of us have used the downtime to optimize our bodies and minds. That means eating consciously, exercising regularly, and picking up a goddamn book for once. (They’re heavier than we remember.)

Others have gone with an alternative approach: mainlining mozza sticks, establishing a human-sized snuggery in the couch, and finishing Netflix.

Like, all of it.  

If you happen to fall into the latter category, don’t beat yourself. We get it. This was probably the only time in our adult lives that we’d have the time and ability to be a complete and utter piece of shit for upwards of two months. And after all, it’s not like we could have gone anywhere or done anything else at the time. 

What’s the old saying? If you can’t surf, surfeit

1363627030trip 219 surf 0001

Jimbo Pellegrine is a surfing icon who binges on nothing more than tubes.

But as the world slowly starts to re-open, the reality of exposing our over-indulgent rigs to the public becomes more real by the day. That means exposing your flub to co-workers, friends, families, romantic interests, and most importantly, the crew at your local surf spot. 

Now, we’ll be the first to admit that adding a few kilos is equally as likely to enhance your surfing (or at least your water displacement) as it is to hinder it. But chances are, your boards aren’t built for the “new you”. So let’s not think of this as trying to get you in “surf shape” but rather trying to save you thousands on a new quiver (though if you absolutely refuse to lose the weight, Ashton Goggans emphatically approves of JS’s new “EasyRider” boards).

Unpaid advertisement within an unpaid advertisement aside, we want to help you get in good enough shape to not embarrass yourself in the water. That’s why we’ve partnered with two of our favorite surf-specific trainers—former CT star and international sex symbol, Luke Steadman*, plus Taj Burrow’s once-tagalong gut-buster, Johnny Gannon—to give away free online fitness classes. 

Almost every single day throughout the pandemic, Luke and Johnny have been live-streaming their classes for whomever chucked a penny in their jar. Because times are tough, we realize that personal wellness mightn’t be the first place people choose to spend their cash—especially on a service they’re not sure they’ll love.

So, in the spirit of waistline solidarity, Stab would be happy to front your first classes with both Luke and Johnny. The idea is that you’ll have a positive experience in at least one of the sessions, then choose to continue using that service until your roundhouse is back to its former glory. 

All you have to do is send an email to [email protected], and we’ll cover your entry fee.

*For what it’s worth, Steds, who is a 43-year-old former-top-10er, says he’s surfing better than ever thanks to his new regime. 

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

Watch: What Happens When A Brand Takes Its Youth Team To A CT Event?

A: Good things, typically.

Mar 29, 2024

Full Frame: Scandinavia Is Surfing’s Next Frontier

A 30-hour drive, bathymetric maps, and 10 years of searching yield surfing's newest discovery.

Mar 29, 2024

Watch: João Chianca Had A Remarkable Hawaii Season Before His Injury

Plus an update on his condition.

Mar 28, 2024

Pittar’d And Feathered

Do the WSL judges deserve the internet's wrath? We asked the man of the hour.

Mar 28, 2024

Robbo, Pickles, And Tyler Wright Become The Underdogs Breakfast At Uninspiring Winkipop

The foreboding blade sharpens and inconsistent judging prevails on Day Two in Torquay.

Mar 27, 2024

“I Don’t Always Win Heats, But When I Do, I Try To Beat John John”

Slater shines and the axe begins its descent on Day 01 at Bells.

Mar 26, 2024

Back Against The Wall: The Ramzi Boukhiam Redemption

Morocco's first CT surfer on speaking six languages, having no coach, and snatching Fil Toledo's…

Mar 25, 2024

Will Kirra, Babies or JJF Stop a GOAT Winning at Bells?

Bluesky BOAG advice from a Superman specialist and former Trials winner.

Mar 25, 2024

Bells Preview: The WSL’s Victorian Sword Dancing Equinox Ritual

Will a Brazilian crack the Top 10 at Bells?

Mar 25, 2024

69 Shin Bones Later + the Anticlimactic State of Big Wave Record-Breaking

Lucas Chumbo might have surfed the biggest wave ever this year. But how will we…

Mar 23, 2024

Watch: ‘Fresh and Fried’ Ft the Quik Kids

How taxing is it to tackle the Gold Coast’s Triple Crown in a single day,…

Mar 23, 2024

The Popular Vote: The People’s Stab In The Dark With Kolohe Andino Champion

Which board looked best — to you —under Kolohe's talons?

Mar 22, 2024

Six Key Learnings From Portugal

Three CT events in, what do we know? 

Mar 21, 2024

‘Zipper’ Is Going On Tour, Here’s Where You Can Watch It  

Dates, times + locations for the Venice, Encinitas, Sydney + Byron premieres.  

Mar 20, 2024

Dane Reynolds On His Future, His Past, And Chapter 11’s Raison D’être

Our 9-minute plunge into the collective psyche of Ventura's pillar(s).

Mar 20, 2024

From ‘Blue Ribbon Cross Country Runner’ to Vogue – How Steph Again Is Back With A Rip Curl Remix

Everything we know about the she-GOATs sponsorship boomerang.

Mar 18, 2024

Stab Interview: Darren Handley Explains Why You Can’t Buy The Winning Stab In The Dark Model

And his decades-long standoff with Slater.

Mar 17, 2024

Griff Embraces Portugal’s Eternal Time Loop To Vanquish Medina + Ewing, Defay Delays The Inevitable

A redeeming closing act at Supertubos.

Mar 16, 2024
Advertisement