Wedding Interferes With High-Flying Showdown At Keramas
Release the doves!
After the last three days of competition at the 2018 Corona Bali Protected, which were held in mouth-watering conditions at Keramas, it’s time that we communally apologize to the prophetic Stab commenter “Dee Walker”.
Nearly two weeks ago, under a post titled “Pumping Swells Expected For Corona Pro Bali”, Dee was publicly shamed for an opinion that has been proven valid in recent times.
Twenty upvotes to zero. That’s the internet version of getting pelted with a bushel of rotten potatoes*. A virtual lynching.
But as time has proven, Keramas’ smaller, more rippable days have been vastly more entertaining than the big burly ones. So on behalf of everybody at Stab, we’re sorry Dee. You were right after all.
* Potatoes leave much bigger bruises, emotionally and otherwise, than do tomatoes.
Sally Fitz, foamball wrangler
All genders considered, Sally Fitzgibbons rode the most technical tube of the Keramas event thus far, scoring a 9.93 for her effort this morning. The queen of enamel took off deep, rode over two foamballs, and came out well after the spit on her near-perfect ride. If it wasn’t for the uncontrollable claim making Sally miss a major section, this wave probably would have been a 10. She won the heat regardless.
Michel Bourez is not dead, and still ripping!
Yesterday it was theorized that Michel’s performance was due to an incident with a super-powered echinoderm – an encounter that threatened to kill him during the come-down. As it turns out, nope! Michel is just on an organic fucking tear, ripping the heads off his waves like Ozzy Osbourne does bats.
Unfortunately for the Spartan, during the final stages of today’s Round 4 assault, he ended up buckling his magic stick – one he called “the best of my life”. Michel plans to get the board fixed before finals day, but who knows how much pop it’ll lose in the reconstruction process. Regardless, he could probably win this event surfing at 80%.
Jordy wanted to fight Medina
Following his Round 4 heat win, Jordy Smith had some candid thoughts to share about his opponents Gabriel Medina and Jeremy Flores.
“You knew Jeremy and Gabe were gonna paddle each other up the reef, so you sat wide and got the opening score,” Kaipo Guerrero mentioned to Jordy in the post-heat presser.
“Absolutely,” Jordy replied. “I felt like those guys were probably gonna peacock pretty hard… big egos, paddle up the point. So I just snuck away wide and got a 5.33.”
“Then the 6.43. You made that air and went straight into a paddle battle,” Kaipo proclaimed.
“Gabby went on the wave before me and I thought he might have gotten a score, so I stuck that air and went straight into a paddle battle. That’s what really fired me up. We were paddling back out and he pulled my leg once, I was like, “Ok, that’s an accident.” Then he pulled my arm twice and I thought, “Ok that’s deliberate”. So I’m like, “Put ‘em up boii, let’s go.”
And… yes! If surfing needs one thing right now it is definitely mid-heat brawls. The sport of hockey has been hanging on by a thread as one of the four major sports in the U.S., and that thread is made up entirely of on-ice fist fights (which are allowed for the small price of a 5-minute penalty). And ice is essentially just really really cold water, so I’m pretty sure these same rules should apply to surfing.
Also, genuine question, who would have won in a Jordy/Gabby brawl? Besides all viewers course.
Italo is Title-ready
Two years ago, the idea of Italo Ferreira winning a World Championship was utterly absurd. The Brazilian goofyfoot was clearly talented, but the idea of him besting Mick, John, Gabby, and Filipe across 11 total events just didn’t seem possible. He was too wild. Too erratic.
I’m not sure what, if anything, has changed in Italo’s approach, but the speed and precision with which he’s surfing right now are matched only by Filipe Toledo. To me, they are the two true Title-hopefuls at this stage. Medina’s loss today certainly didn’t hurt.
You might be wondering why they called the comp off today
“Quarter finals are off for the day, Commune had a wedding already booked for today, so please make sure to remove all your gear from the surfer’s deck by 12 noon,” read a text sent to all competitors this morning, presumably from the WSL Commissioner’s office.
Apparently some couple booked a wedding prior to the WSL negotiating this Keramas event. So when the waiting period was decided, it was also agreed that on June 1st the WSL would wrap up all heats by midday to allow for the wedding party to proceed on the Komune grounds.
The fact that the waves were still pumping after Italo’s heat is sad but contractually irrelevant. The event was always going to be called off after Round 4.
The WSL don’t want no air tour!
According to our sources, the WSL ran a surfer’s meeting yesterday on whether they should run into round 4 with onshores. Apparently the aerially-savvy surfers were keen but the others not so much.
In other words, at least half of the tour wanted to continue surfing, but WSL favors clean conditions so it was decided they would not run.
The waves will probably be smaller tomorrow, but there’s another bump forecast for Sunday that will likely allow them to finish the event.
Corona Bali Protected Women’s Round 3 Results:
Heat 1: Tyler Wright (AUS) 14.93 def. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA) 12.33, Coco Ho (HAW) 8.57
Heat 2: Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) 11.40 def. Silvana Lima (BRA) 9.54, Keely Andrew (AUS) 8.50
Heat 3: Lakey Peterson (USA) 15.03 def. Caroline Marks (USA) 15.00, Sage Erickson (USA) 11.67
Heat 4: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) 15.93 def. Malia Manuel (HAW) 14.00, Carissa Moore (HAW) 13.83
Corona Bali Protected Women’s Quarterfinal Matchups:
Heat 1: Tyler Wright (AUS) vs. Silvana Lima (BRA)
Heat 2: Stephanie Gilmore (AUS) vs. Tatiana Weston-Webb (BRA)
Heat 3: Lakey Peterson (USA) vs. Malia Manuel (HAW)
Heat 4: Sally Fitzgibbons (AUS) vs. Caroline Marks (USA)
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Round 4 Matchups:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) 17.00 def. Willian Cardoso (BRA) 13.60, Jesse Mendes (BRA) 11.66
Heat 2: Mikey Wright (AUS) 15.80 def. Griffin Colapinto (USA) 13.73, Adrian Buchan (AUS) 12.50
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) 11.76 def. Jeremy Flores (FRA) 11.70, Gabriel Medina (BRA) 10.76
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) 17.00 def. Filipe Toledo (BRA) 13.87, Adriano de Souza (BRA) 13.16
Corona Bali Protected Men’s Quarterfinal Matchups:
Heat 1: Michel Bourez (PYF) vs. Griffin Colapinto (USA)
Heat 2: Mikey Wright (AUS) vs. Willian Cardoso (BRA)
Heat 3: Jordy Smith (ZAF) vs. Filipe Toledo (BRA)
Heat 4: Italo Ferreira (BRA) vs. Jeremy Flores (FRA)
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