Stab Exclusive: 2021 Jeep Surf Ranch Pro Astrological Forecast - Stab Mag
We are all stardust. Photo: NASA

Stab Exclusive: 2021 Jeep Surf Ranch Pro Astrological Forecast

You’re God damn right we consulted a psychic.


The universe is 13.77 billion years old. 

Earth is over 4.5 billion years old.

Life on earth is over 3.5 billion years old. 

Homo sapiens are, at best, 200,000 years old. 

The scientific revolution is less than 500 years old.

Lemoore, California will be 115 degrees Fahrenheit this weekend. 

Morgan Cibilic has 21,290 points so far this season.

The Olympics are 36 days away.

In the lead-up to the 2021 Surf Ranch Pro, the world is consumed with cutbacks, hatchbacks, Jeeps, wildcards, wingdings, thrusters, bonzers, Medinas, Mendias, Whistles, Wozzles, protons, Prodans, podcasts, webcasts, and hopefully not that tube timer again. Stab has made the decision to go deeper and try to figure out what it all means. 

We will be on site to provide you with a metaphysical survey of the Jeep Surf Ranch Pro. So, it felt fitting to start with an astrological forecast for the event. We consulted Dr. Julie, who has a PhD in Chemistry, and works as a psychic in Southern California. Here’s what she shared with us. 

The easiest way to live and thrive is to be in your unique flow. We have been in an eclipse season since the end of May and into June. These celestial occurrences are full of possibilities that allow all that has been eclipsed from our awareness to burst onto the surface so we can be all that we can be. Mercury retrograde, in Gemini that began May 29th and will end June 22nd, has also deeply affected us. This mercurial energy has put us on an information-gathering mission, reviewing and revising so much – particularly about ourselves. Mercury retrogrades also causes external miscommunication, difficulties or waves of the unexpected so we must be prepared and pay extra attention. Mars entered the fiery sign of Leo June 11th and will remain there until July 29th encouraging us to experience a bold, new confidence. We have been called to gain many new perspectives in our lives. When we use the cosmos as they are designed and honor ourselves, our lives are easier and more successful. As we observe a group compete we can see individuals emerge and ride the waves to be all that they can be. Let us always remember everyone has a different flow and purpose.  It is also fascinating to note that as we approach June 22, Venus and Neptune form a very favorable interaction in water signs. This harmonious energy invites us to fully embrace our love of all things watery, emotional and beautiful.

Cop that, Surfline.

We also worked with Dr. Julie to do a card reading and feel out some of the competitors. Keep an eye out for that, dropping tomorrow. Stab will unveil our official metaphysical pick to win.


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