Stab Exclusive: 2021 Jeep Surf Ranch Pro Astrological Forecast - Stab Mag
We are all stardust. Photo: NASA

Stab Exclusive: 2021 Jeep Surf Ranch Pro Astrological Forecast

You’re God damn right we consulted a psychic.

Words by BIG DICK POWER SURFER

The universe is 13.77 billion years old. 

Earth is over 4.5 billion years old.

Life on earth is over 3.5 billion years old. 

Homo sapiens are, at best, 200,000 years old. 

The scientific revolution is less than 500 years old.

Lemoore, California will be 115 degrees Fahrenheit this weekend. 

Morgan Cibilic has 21,290 points so far this season.

The Olympics are 36 days away.

In the lead-up to the 2021 Surf Ranch Pro, the world is consumed with cutbacks, hatchbacks, Jeeps, wildcards, wingdings, thrusters, bonzers, Medinas, Mendias, Whistles, Wozzles, protons, Prodans, podcasts, webcasts, and hopefully not that tube timer again. Stab has made the decision to go deeper and try to figure out what it all means. 

We will be on site to provide you with a metaphysical survey of the Jeep Surf Ranch Pro. So, it felt fitting to start with an astrological forecast for the event. We consulted Dr. Julie, who has a PhD in Chemistry, and works as a psychic in Southern California. Here’s what she shared with us. 

The easiest way to live and thrive is to be in your unique flow. We have been in an eclipse season since the end of May and into June. These celestial occurrences are full of possibilities that allow all that has been eclipsed from our awareness to burst onto the surface so we can be all that we can be. Mercury retrograde, in Gemini that began May 29th and will end June 22nd, has also deeply affected us. This mercurial energy has put us on an information-gathering mission, reviewing and revising so much – particularly about ourselves. Mercury retrogrades also causes external miscommunication, difficulties or waves of the unexpected so we must be prepared and pay extra attention. Mars entered the fiery sign of Leo June 11th and will remain there until July 29th encouraging us to experience a bold, new confidence. We have been called to gain many new perspectives in our lives. When we use the cosmos as they are designed and honor ourselves, our lives are easier and more successful. As we observe a group compete we can see individuals emerge and ride the waves to be all that they can be. Let us always remember everyone has a different flow and purpose.  It is also fascinating to note that as we approach June 22, Venus and Neptune form a very favorable interaction in water signs. This harmonious energy invites us to fully embrace our love of all things watery, emotional and beautiful.

Cop that, Surfline.

We also worked with Dr. Julie to do a card reading and feel out some of the competitors. Keep an eye out for that, dropping tomorrow. Stab will unveil our official metaphysical pick to win.

Comments

Comments are a Stab Premium feature. Gotta join to talk shop.

Already a member? Sign In

Want to join? Sign Up

Advertisement

Most Recent

E.A.S.T. Musician Hobo Dave’s Inspiring Journey Through Brain Injuries, Mental Illness, And Surfing

His film ‘Suburban Wilderness’ is a feel-good, core lord hit.

Jul 30, 2021

Episode 2: Vans Stab High, Central America, Presented By Monster Energy

Bring an ice pack, the space cadets have been wounded.

Jul 30, 2021

Does Anyone Else Notice This Ladybird’s Resemblance To Dane Reynolds?

Caity Simmers surfs with a familiar tenacity.

Jul 29, 2021

How Did A Billabong Logo End Up On Italo Ferreira’s Olympics-Winning Surfboard?

Clever marketing team finds legal loophole.

Jul 29, 2021

Son Of Metallica Bassist Scores 11 Year Old’s Straight Air Waco Edit

Ryji Masuda rocks and rolls in Waco.

Jul 29, 2021

Ben Howard Knifes South Coast Nuggets In ‘153624’

Ben Howard chooses the double black diamond approach to tube riding.

Jul 29, 2021

What Did We Learn From The Olympics?

The biggest takeaways from a writer who watched every single heat.

Jul 28, 2021

Covert Jr. Editor Virtually Slips Through The Heavily Guarded Gates Of Olympic Surfing

Better watch now, this won't stay up for very long.

Jul 28, 2021

Neal Purchase Jnr Shapes The Feeling He’s Searching For

Great artists hide themselves in their work.

Jul 28, 2021

You Could Fit Your Neighbor’s Sprinter Van Inside Of These Puerto Escondido Tunnels

Mexican Pipeline continues to churn out the goods.

Jul 27, 2021

Where Are We At With Sustainable Surfboards?

Hello, elephant in the room! Let's hear from some industry innovators.

Jul 27, 2021

Italo Ferreira and Carissa Moore Are Surfing’s First-Ever Olympic Gold Medalists

Here's how they won.

Jul 27, 2021

Everything You Never Knew About Italo Ferreira

A window into the gold medalist's meteoric rise.

Jul 27, 2021

John Florence Listed As Questionable For The Remainder Of The CT Season

“I’ll most likely make the decision in the next two days or so.”

Jul 26, 2021

The Flamboyantly-Dressed Man Who Got Surfing Into The Olympics Details His Experience

ISA President Fernando Aguerre opens up to Stab the day before the gold medal match.

Jul 26, 2021

Steph Falls Off Her Horse, Andino Triumphs Over John, Gabs Potentially Spells End To Jules’ Career Outside Contest Area

Big-ish waves, sharp surfing and no shortage of drama on day 2 of the Olympic…

Jul 26, 2021

Do You Talk In The Lineup?

The Misc: Half-spoken rules

Jul 26, 2021

Shizunami’s Provocative Chlorine Ramp Continues To Tempt Us

The Volcom Japan team dips its toes in the world’s most desirable wave pool.

Jul 26, 2021
Advertisement