Stab Magazine | Kelly Slater And Michael Phelps Smoked The Euros In The Ryder Cup Celeb Golf Tourney
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Kelly Slater And Michael Phelps Smoked The Euros In The Ryder Cup Celeb Golf Tourney

Just a couple best evers.

news // Sep 30, 2016
Words by stab
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Are we ready to talk about Kelly again? Christ, that gentlemen has made more headlines in the past few months than Donnie Trump. Well, that’s a stretch but it seems like every other day we’re writing a story on Mr Slater. And, we’re not complaining, he’s the King, an artistic visionary, a musician with a tolerable voice, he’s fifth in the world and along with Mr Phelps he just torched the Euros in the Ryder Cup Celebrity Golf Match.

Did you know Kelly’s a prolific golfer? Or that his average drive is 275 yards? Just a mere 48 shorter than Tiger Woods’ 323! He even once shot 11 under par at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am. Needless to say, it’s just one more field where Kelly excels.

 

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Kelly’s a scratch golfer, Michael Phelps is rocking a +15 handicap. Guess who carried the team. Photo: Michael Madrid-USA TODAY Sports

The two matched up with tennis guru Martina Navratilova (the second half to Billie Jean King) and British Olympic Gold medal sprinter John Regis. But, one gold medal and 18 Grand Slams – which are CT tennis events, for lack of better description – sure ain’t gonna add up to the eminence that flows from Mr Slater and Phelps. It’s worth noting that Mr Navratilova and BJK won Wimbledon 20 times together. She was also one of the first sports stars to come out as openly gay, which maybe like you, I just learned. And, on the note of coming out, 2003 Thrasher Mag Skater of the Year, Brian Anderson, just publicly, in a VICE Doco (watch it) said, “I’m gay.” And that’s beautiful. Can we take a second and applaud? Just for one second can we fuck off unnecessary homophobia?

Back to Slater, Phelps, the Ryder Cup and the fact that the American’s, the ones that Danny Willet (who won the Masters) called a “baying mob of imbeciles” slaughtered the Europeans. It was a bloodbath 14-0 all American victory. Still, the “baying mob of imbeciles” (my birthright!) are considering making a reality television star president, so that statement stands.

The other notables who competed in the Ryder Cup Celeb Match included: Billy Murray, Huey Lewis (without the news), Kurt Russell, Rob Riggle, Celebrity Chef Todd English, boyband heartthrob Niall Horan and more.

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