Jeremy Flores Has A Baby After Pulling Out*

Jeremy Flores made me look like an idiot this morning. 

In my Fantasy piece, I declared that Jeremy’s Round 1 heat against Zeke and Italo would be the best of the round, only to discover (thanks to a few savvy commenters) that Jeremy wasn’t in a heat anymore. In fact he wasn’t in the draw at all. He’d mysteriously pulled out. 

What the hell, man?

So I did a quick run to the WSL site and… nothing. Next I hit Instagram and, despite a barren main feed, the little red ring around Jezza’s avatar gave me hope. Clicking into his Story, I found the following photo, and suddenly everything made sense. 

Jeremy’s a daddy!

It’s true! The 29-year-old Reunion-Frenchman has reared his first offspring, a little girl (I believe) named Hinahei. The mother of the child is Jeremy’s girlfriend, Hinarani de Longeaux, whose Wikipedia page describes her as such: a French (born in Tahiti) model and beauty pageant titleholder who was crowned 2013 Miss France 1st runner-up. Hinarani later replaced Marine Lorphelin (The winner of Miss France) as France‘s represented at Miss Universe 2013.

As seen here.

After his loss at Bells, it appears Jeremy booked it back to Tahiti, where his significant other was awaiting their child’s arrival. This of course led to Jeremy missing the Margie’s event, which is justified due to the gravity of his first child’s birth.

It appears Hinahei was born yesterday, though we can’t be sure.

Stab would like to congratulate Jeremy for he and his gal’s existential achievement, and we sure hope to see him back on Tour soon. The CT is borderline unwatchable without his heightened passion and flair.