Dane ain’t touring in 2014

We so wanted to believe. That the same surfer who’d turned down an orbit on the 2012 World Tour was going to come back in 2015 after a year destroying the Qualifying Series. On a post on Surf Europe it was announced that Dane was making a comeback. Our hearts soared! “And so it is with delight that we can reveal that Dane Reynolds is apparently all set to make a thrilling ASP Tour comeback. Bored with being bored, over being over weight and slightly embarrassed to have been comprehensively smoked in his fleeting Tour event appearances in 2013, the word from inside the cresting-wave-snow-capped-mountain camp is that Dane is set to attack the WQS with vim and vigour in 2014, with a view to getting back amongst the all-new all-awesome WCT. Whether or not this means we’re forced to pretend to be interested in his photography, vintage cameras, music taste, weird bird, etc…. who cares?!?” It makes sense, don’t it? Slow Dance is in the can. Marine Layer Productions is in temporary recess. We wanted to believe the last three world tour event last place finishes were all mistakes. We wanted to believe that a match-fit Reynolds would re-enter the tour and steal our hearts away from the current best-surfer-in-the-world John John Florence. We wanted to believe we would again see that rare blend of iconic lines laced with special Ventura sugar back on tour. Is it true? Let’s ask Dane. “You’re talking about Surf Europe, ya? Those guys are fuckin idiots” said Dane today, before saying he’s not doing the qualifying tour full time but will probably surf the Lowers and Durban primes. “The only world tour events I’m doing are Quik sponsored ones.” So hardboiled! So much Grrrrr! This year on the North Shore, Dane wowed judges at Haleiwa (semis) and crowds at Sunset, as well as every team house along the strip (ask anyone). Not so much at Pipe, but hey, at least his Surfer Poll speech was of its usual brilliance. ASP/Cestari